Page 22 of Staying Selfless

Chapter 9

Logan

Back in my hotel room, I quickly get ready for bed and tuck myself in. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can sleep a little lighter. Being in the same city as Eli, plus that conversation with Jack, settles me as my eyelids get heavy the moment my head touches the pillow.

Marc and Ali aren’t back yet, but I make sure to leave enough space on the other side of my bed in case Ali wants to crawl in with me. But assuming they’re going to come back plenty buzzed, I’m sure they’ll be sharing the other bed together.

Without even realizing, I sink into the mattress and fall asleep almost right away.

Sometime later, my phone rings, waking me up. I pat around for it, refusing to open my eyes, wishing I could get back to the deep, restful sleep I was in.

“Hello?” My voice is laced with exhaustion.

I leave the phone next to me on the pillow, waiting for a reply, but there isn’t one.

“Eli?” I ask before prying open my lids and seeing his name on my screen.

His breathing is a little heavy and strained, but he doesn’t sound like he’s having an anxiety attack. But still, he isn’t answering me.

“Are you okay?”

“Hi,” he finally says on an inhale. “Hi. Sorry...sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll let you go.”

“Eli, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He attempts to sound convincing but fails miserably. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, I shouldn’t have called.”

I stay silent, and so does he as we remain on the line with each other.

“Did you have one?” I finally ask in a gentle tone.

Eli lets out a heavy defeated sigh. “Yeah.”

My eyes close, but not because I’m tired. But because I feel for him in this moment as I always do when his mind gets the better of him.

“Where are you?”

“In the bathroom of my hotel room.”

“Do you want to come over?”

“Is that okay?” His voice is laced with hope.

“Of course, baby. Room 518.”

A few minutes later, Eli knocks at my door. I open it to find the most handsome but exhausted man I’ve ever seen. He’s as beautiful as always but completely drained. His smile is shy as his tired brown eyes search my face.

I move out of the way, allowing him to come into the room as he takes a seat on the edge of my bed with his elbows on his knees and his head hanging low.

We’re a little uncomfortable with each other right now. It’s obvious. I just want to treat him like the last month didn’t happen, but I don’t know if that’s okay to do.

Walking over, I stand in front of him, but he doesn’t look up at me. My hand hesitantly finds his messy hair as I push it out of his face, lightly stroking his scalp, and trying to make him feel better.

Eli closes his eyes and leans his cheek into my palm as my other hand finds his face, gently stroking the delicate pale skin of my favorite boy.

He lets out an audible sigh from my touch as his large hands find the small of my waist, pulling me closer to stand between his legs. He drops his forehead to my stomach, resting it there as my fingers continue to twirl his hair.

I can tell he’s struggling, but I’m not sure if it’s because of the panic attack he just had or if it’s because I’m here in front of him. Maybe a combination of the two, I don’t know.

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