Page 190 of Becoming Selfish

“Logan, I need to talk to you,” she urgently says, taking a seat on my bed.

“Ali, I can’t right now. I really need to get a workout in.”

“Shit,” she says, taken aback as her gaze catches mine. “Are you okay? You don’t look like yourself.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just needing a gym break from all this studying,” I lie with the shake of my head.

“Please, Logan. I really need to talk to you.”

Ali has always been there for me. I would be a terrible friend to leave her when she needs me, even though I need nothing more than a therapy session in the gym right now.

“Okay.” I toss my bag aside before taking a seat at my desk chair. “What’s up?”

“Well,” she begins as she awkwardly adjusts the way she’s sitting, obviously feeling very uncomfortable. “I just need to get something off my chest, and I don’t know the right way to say it, so I’m just going to come out and say it.”

“Okay?” I ask with a confused expression and furrowed brows. I’ve literally never seen Ali this awkward or off her game unless it’s about...

“I have feelings for Marc!” she blurts out before quickly covering her mouth like she said something terrible.

I can’t help but let out a laugh. The laugh feels good. I haven’t done that in a while.

“Yeah, Ali. I know.”

“What?”

“You’re so obvious. Of course, I know. I’ve known since the Halloween party that you two were full of shit.”

“Fuck. What do I do?” she asks with desperation.

“Why don’t you try telling him?”

“Oh, no, I can’t do that. No, no, no.” Ali shakes her head. “This whole friends with benefits thing was his idea.”

“Yeah, probably because you don’t do boyfriends,” I remind her. “So he was most likely trying to play it safe, assuming you would’ve shut him down if he suggested more.”

“Do you think he wants more?” she asks with expectant eyes, needing the reassurance.

“Ali, honestly, I haven’t talked to him about it. But it’s Marc, and it’s you. I wouldn’t be surprised if the feelings are mutual. You should talk to him.”

“Maybe after winter break. I’m going to sit with it for a minute. I’ve never felt this way. I don’t want to be rash right now.”

“My little cold-hearted Ali is warming up,” I tease.

“Fuck. This is a scary feeling. How the hell do you do this? This thing in my chest is like pounding whenever I see him. What the fuck is that?”

I can’t help but laugh. “That would be your heart, and those would be called feelings,” I smugly tell her.

“Oh, man. They feel awful.” She falls back on my bed in distress. “Fucking awful.”

I eye the clock again, hoping to make it to the gym, but there’s no use at this point. I have to get to my next exam. Channeling my emotions is going to have to wait for another day.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Logan?” Ali asks as she leans up on her elbows, eyeing me. “You haven’t seemed like yourself this week, and I’ve barely seen you.”

“I’m fine. I haven’t been doing great on my tests, and it’s stressing me out. But besides that, I’m all good.”

Well, at least part of that statement was truthful. I have been doing poorly on my exams, but the rest was a bald-faced lie. And in true Ali fashion, she knows I’m full of shit.

“I know you’re lying right now. But I’m not going to push it unless you want to tell me what’s up. If you need to talk, you know I’m always here.”

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