Page 116 of Becoming Selfish

“I haven’t seen him like this in a while,” Marc says in a concerned tone from the couch. “You still don’t know what happened yesterday?” His brows furrow with worry.

I shake my head in response as the pit in my stomach grows. “He wouldn’t tell me.” I don’t know what’s going on with Eli, and I’m a little afraid to find out.

The back door slams shut as I close my eyes, hearing Eli’s footsteps somewhere behind me. Keeping my back towards him, I refuse to let him see how much his attitude is affecting me. The quick steps I hear in the distance let me know that he’s taking the stairs, most likely two at a time.

I let out a heavy sigh, feeling flustered and unsure of what to do.

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” Ali suggests, being the good friend that she is, as she stands up from the couch.

“That sounds like a great idea,” I tell her with an appreciative smile. “Let me go grab my sweatshirt.”

When I notice my duffel bag missing from the base of the stairs, I quickly realize that Eli took it upstairs with him. I let out another nervous breath as I make my way up, having no idea where I’m going. I’ve never been upstairs here before, and this house is enormous. There must be five or six bedrooms up here, at least. Plus, I don’t know if Eli took my bag into his room or dropped it in a guest room. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised by the latter. It doesn’t seem like Eli wants me to be around him tonight.

I crack open a couple of doors, first finding one of the guest rooms, then the laundry room, neither of which contains my bag. On my third try, when I pop my head into a bedroom, I find Eli sitting at the foot of a bed with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. This room must be his. I try to quietly duck out before I’m noticed, but before I do, I spot my duffel bag sitting next to his by the bathroom door.

When I tiptoe inside, he looks up to me, rolls his eyes, and lets out a heavy sigh.

“Fuck, Logan. I said I needed a fucking minute!” he yells, and I can feel my body physically back away from him. The movement is vastly different from the magnetic pull towards him that I typically experience. He’s angry right now, and I have no idea why. I’ve done nothing to deserve being spoken to this way.

My eyes are wide with shock, and my heart is beginning to race as I walk over to my bag and search through it until I find my sweatshirt.

“You took my bag, and I needed my sweatshirt.” I zip my bag up with my back towards Eli. Slipping the sweater over my head, I quickly bound towards the door to leave, continuing to avoid eye contact with Eli.

Before I walk out, a sudden jolt of bravery takes over. “And just because I’m your girlfriend now does not give you the right to speak to me that way.” I turn to look him in the eyes, wanting him to know how serious I am.

He pulls his gaze away from mine as he stares straight ahead. “Well then, maybe you shouldn’t be my girlfriend anymore.”

My stomach drops from his words. “What did you just say?” I ask in shock and disbelief as I close the door to his room, not wanting Marc or Ali to hear our conversation, but Eli doesn’t respond.

“Are you seriously threatening to break up with me right now?” I take a step towards him. My voice isn’t even laced with sadness. It’s all anger. Because that’s what I am right now—I’m angry that he would even suggest that. I know he doesn’t mean it, he’s saying it out of spite, and that makes it even worse.

“Maybe we should,” he says with a shrug. “I’m going to fuck it up eventually, just like I do with everything. May as well end it now.” His voice has no emotion as he refuses to look in my direction.

“What the fuck happened yesterday?” I ask again, this time with much less compassion and a whole lot more urgency.

“Jesus, Logan! Stop fucking asking that! Take a fucking hint!” he shouts with wide eyes and red cheeks, anger burning inside of him. He snaps his head in my direction, finally looking me in the eyes. The eyes looking back at me are not the ones I’ve spent the last few weeks falling in love with. No, those warm whiskey-colored eyes are nowhere to be found. These ones are dark and mean, just like the emotion behind his words.

I feel just as pissed off as I do defeated right now as I let out a heavy sigh. I wish I could convince myself that this is the alcohol talking, that this isn’t Eli saying the words, but he only had two beers, and that’s not even enough to get him buzzed.

“Let me know when my Eli is back because I didn’t sign up for this version,” I snap before turning on my heel to leave.

“Maybe this version is the real me,” he spitefully retorts with my back towards him and my hand on the doorknob. “Maybe the last few weeks were all an act, and you were too naive to notice.”

I slowly turn to face him, taking in his hateful words. “Well, then I wish I could be naive forever because I miss that version. That Eli would never speak to me this way, and he sure as shit wouldn’t keep things from me.”

“You should leave.” He pulls his gaze from mine, unable to look me in the eyes.

“I will leave. And I don’t just mean this room. I will leave you if you continue to talk to me like this. I’ve never allowed a man to speak to me this way, and I’m not going to start now.”

I punctuate my words with a slam of his door behind me.

Chapter 62

Logan

“To be honest, I didn’t think you had it in you,” Ali tells me, surprised and impressed.

“Neither did I.” I’ve felt more sure of myself since Eli and I got together, and today I was confident enough to stand up and not take his shit. I’m proud of myself, but I don’t feel any less sick about the conversation that Eli and I had upstairs.

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