Page 91 of I Love My Mistake

Jess cocks her head to the side. “No. You never sabotage good things. Ever.”

Amber looks back and forth between Jess and I, stuck in the middle, literally and figuratively. “I may do things sometimes that aren’t in my best interests… but I think they are at the time I’m doing them.”

“Well, who doesn’t?!” My head shakes off the confusion and I look back to Jess. “So you’re saying I’m on cloud nine. Everything is fine. Don’t worry.”

Jessica picks up her vodka rocks and raises her eyebrows, “I’m saying, be careful.”

I’m dumbfounded. “Of what? I’m not going to sabotage anything. I’m just…”

I smell him before I see him, the delicious musk of his skin so familiar to me.

“Nicole.”

Amber and Jessica look up, their mouths slightly open. I know exactly what has them so impressed. I know because my hair has stood up on the back of my neck and the deep, seductive Spanish accent has loosened the lock I have on my knees. I don’t have to look up to know that Michael is behind me, afraid to come too close.

I slowly turn my head, give his body an up and down rake. He looks gorgeous in his normal dark jeans streaked with paint, his torn white shirt and black leather jacket. Sharp glints of desire stare back at me when I land on his eyes.

“Michael.”

Amber shifts in her seat next to me, dying to say something.

He nudges his chin toward the bar. “I’m having a drink with a friend. And I saw you over here.” I follow his gesture to a man with dreadlocks sitting on a barstool, looking right at me. He’s obviously an artist of some kind, maybe music? Who cares.

I look back to Michael. “So.”

His eyes flicker at my icy tone. He struggles. “Can I talk to you… outside?” His eyes dart to my girlfriends. “Hello.”

I move my hand, not looking at them. “This is Jessica and Amber.”

They both wave, uncomfortably.

He looks back to me, waiting for an answer. The electricity between us could light up Chelsea.

I turn away from him. It takes every ounce of strength I have. I lock eyes with Amber. She alone knows what happened with Michael and me. Her eyes steel and I can feel the support in them. I use her strength to hold me up. “I’m celebrating with my girlfriends.”

Michael waits for an uncomfortable beat for me to change my mind. Not getting what he wants, he turns. Without another word, to any of us, he walks away.

I stare at Amber, afraid to look elsewhere.

Jessica reaches across the table and without thinking, without hesitation, I reach over and lock hands with her. “He’s leaving. His friend just looked back, but he didn’t.”

I nod and close my eyes. Jess gives my hand a squeeze and I look at her. “So, that was Michael.”

Amber glances to the front door, watching them leave through it. “Well, I can see what all the fuss is about. Your chemistry is through the roof.”

Jessica nods. “Yeah. Wow.”

I frown and blink a couple times. On the table, my phone sits, silent. I let go of Jessica’s hand. I feel what I always feel around Michael, empty. He’s a cup I want to fill an empty void with, but he is the void. It’s a dangerous chemistry. They don’t understand. I don’t know if they’ve ever had this kind of a toxic connection with someone before.

I turn my body and look back toward the door, my hand on the back of the booth. “Do you think Michael is waiting out there?”

Amber reaches over and rubs my arm. “He can wait.”

I nod, lost in my own thoughts.

Jessica smiles and lifts her glass. “To men who make your mind spin!”

Amber adds, “To being strong enough to let them go!”

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