Page 22 of The Wanderer

"Because we're not in grade school, dickhead."

Besides, if he admitted it out loud to his mate, it made this strange, out of control feeling to spend time with her beyond the sex all the more real. And he was in enough of a funk since hearing her sing and would prefer not to exacerbate it.

She'd said all the right things about continuing their sexcapades yet keeping this casual and he should be rapt. Instead, he couldn't shake the feeling he'd taken on too much with this one.

"Heard from your dad lately?"

And just like that, Rick transformed a bad situation into a shitty one. Logan knew why his friend had changed the subject and what he was alluding to: that Logan had never had a serious relationship with a woman because of his past, tangled up in a big ball of resentment toward his dad.

So what if he never wanted to foster ties that always ended in disappointment? To have a woman wait around for him while he travelled, her discontent and frustration growing until their relationship inevitably imploded? Or worse, bring a kid into the situation, the kind of kid he’d once been, hero-worshipping his dad only to be consistently kicked in the fucking heart by the constant letdowns.

No, he didn’t want any of that. Besides, he was happy. He had a kickass company, enough work to keep him busy for decades, and a bank account that ensured he didn’t have to work if he didn’t want to. Longterm relationships bred nothing but unhappiness and heartbreak. Not for him.

"No, I haven’t see him," Logan said, his voice clipped. "I really need to get back to supervising the guys—"

"They've done a thousand of these jobs without you standing over them, I'm pretty sure they'll cope for another few minutes." Rick folded his arms, disapproval radiating off him. "Doesn't he live in Melbourne? Why don't you—"

"Rick, you're my best mate, but if you keep spouting this drivel I'm going to have to deck you."

Not that he would; Logan had never hit anyone in his life. But if talking about Hope wasn't high on his list of discussion topics, talking about dear old dad fell into a definite no-go zone.

"You need to see him some time," Rick said, with a shrug. “It might put the rest of your life and this warped view you have about relationships into perspective—"

"That's it, I'm done." His hands curled into fists as he pushed open the back door to Hope's property so he could escape into a world of hammering and sawdust and drilling. Familiarity with his work would ease the confusion courtesy of his friend’s too-accurate assessment of why he didn’t do relationships. "Go rest at home and I'll see you soon."

Logan didn't wait for his mate's response. He'd had enough.

If thinking about his earlier reaction to Hope had him reeling, mulling over Rick's unwarranted advice regarding his dad had the potential to send him into a tailspin.

Time to focus on work like he always did. And a few stolen hours here and there with Hope when he could. Keep things simple. Uncomplicated.

Just the way he liked it.

Chapter Twelve

When Hope wanted clarity, she visited her favourite place, the Victorian State Library. Entering through the giant marble arches on Swanston Street flooded her with peace.

It had been the first Melbourne landmark she’d explored when she migrated five years ago, her love of books undeniable. When she walked through these arches, her muscles slackened and her limbs loosened as any residual tension drained away. She loved strolling through the Red Rotunda and seeing the nineteenth century paintings and sculptures, followed by a tour of the Blue Rotunda with its twentieth century portraits of artists, authors, and other notables who were part of Victorian history.

If she yearned for a history fix, she’d spend a few hours in the Redmond Barry Reading Room, poring over non-fiction journals featuring musical legends she listened to on occasion.

The library soothed her soul and calmed her mind.

Except today.

Today, Logan had accompanied her and she had no freaking idea why.

It had been bad enough yesterday, coming to terms with the fact she'd agreed to a short-term fling while he was in town, hot on the heels of scorching sex in the confines of her mini studio, followed by her revealing far too much by playing that song she'd written about him. Not that he knew it. The lyrics could've applied to anyone yearning for a real connection.

But then she'd come clean about feeling out of her depth around him and he'd been way too understanding and sweet. Rugged, tough guys like him shouldn't have a soft core. It made him all the more appealing. She could cope with viewing him as a sex object, a gorgeous guy to shift her out of her comfort zone, to shake up her rather mundane existence.

But the moment he'd shown genuine sincerity yesterday, she'd been mulling 'what if'.

What if she'd made a big mistake in letting this guy in a little?

She'd done a fine job of protecting her heart since Willem. But in the short time she'd known Logan she'd already spent too much time thinking about him and that didn't bode well for when he left in a month. Guys she'd dated before had never had this impact on her. She’d deliberately kept them at bay and ended things quickly if they wanted more.

Thinking about Logan so much made her re-evaluate the wisdom of her choice. Maybe the smart decision would be to end this fling now?

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