Page 15 of Taking It Off

“You’re right, I can’t tell you much, but,” I respond, pausing for dramatic effect, “I pretty much do whatever my clients ask me to. Within reason, and as long as they’re paying.”

Both men’s eyes go wide. I can see their imaginations going wild with crazy ideas about what I do for money. I expect to see judgement from them, but it doesn’t happen.

“That’s awesome. But you have control, right? No one can force you to do something you’re not comfortable with, can they?” Jeremy asks.

They scoot as close to me as possible and each of them takes one of my hands. I can feel their concern through our connection.

I smile, shaking my head. “No one can make me do anything. They ask, and I decide if I’m willing or not. Sometimes, it depends on what they’ll pay. Other times, it’s a simple yes or no. There are a few things I’ve done on cam that are not my favorite, but I was paid well, so I agreed.”

I don’t want to get into details about my cam calls, so I try to change the subject. “Most of what I have to do today is for subscribers in the general channel, though. I don’t have too many private appointments.”

“That means we’ll get to watch,” Will says, high-fiving Jeremy in front of me. Fuck. I’m not prepared to perform knowing that they’re part of my audience.

“What? You guys subscribed? That’s crazy, especially after you figured out it’s me.” I try my best to sound convincing instead of intimidated.

“To be fair, we subbed before we knew it was you. But just because we know you, that doesn’t mean we can’t support you. Besides, the shows are hot.” Jeremy makes a good argument, but I’m still a little uncomfortable.

“I just meant you didn’t have to waste your money, that’s all.”

“Nothing to do with you is a waste of money,” Will replies. It’s a sweet sentiment, and I appreciate what he’s saying. I still feel awkward knowing that they’re watching streams. And paying for it.

“I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree, then.” I finish my donut and coffee, then settle back between them. I could stay until lunch, but I need to do some thinking and prepare for my stream. Luke is still sleeping when I leave.

“You’re coming back for lunch, right? Luke will be pissed at us for not waking him up if you don’t,” Jeremy says. It’s a guilt trip and he knows it. I can’t help feeling like I deserve it, though.

“Of course. I’ll be back around one. What do you want me to pick up for lunch?” I shouldn’t ask, but I can’t help it. I have to find a way to make this mess up to them.

“You’re not buying us lunch. You got breakfast, so one of us will take care of lunch,” Will insists. I can’t argue with his reasoning, so I agree. After we say goodbye, I race down to my apartment.

Once inside, I lock the door and slide down the wall next to it. I have no idea how long I sit there, staring into the apartment. From this vantage point, I feel like an outsider looking in on my life. I’m surprised that Will didn’t comment on my lack of furniture when he was here.

It’s not something I ever really needed before. But if this four-person relationship is gonna work, I’ll have to let them into my apartment sometimes. And that will require places to sit at least. It’s not like I can just have them over for sex all the time. At some point, they’ll want to hang out.

I don’t know why I’m so hesitant to fully commit to a relationship with them. Even if it’s unconventional, it makes us happy. That’s the important part. I mean, yeah, my secret life is a consideration. As long as I can maintain my own space, that shouldn’t be a problem. Daydreaming isn’t getting me anywhere, so I pick myself up and head to my cam room.

Instantly, a sense of calm washes over me. Being this close to my computer set up relaxes me and eases my mind. I reach out with my power and check my schedule. I have a stream and one call later. I’m experimenting with stream content, so I run through my song choices. After making my selection, I go over the moves I’ll make to the music, doing a practice run of the dance routine I plan to start with.

Having that taken care of, I walk to the closet and open it. I have to select an outfit and want something that will accentuate my performance while giving me something to take off slowly. Am I spending way more time on this than usual? Yes. Does that have anything to do with the three men I know will be watching? I’d rather not answer that question, thank you very much.

I hate to think that they’re changing me, but I know it’s true. Camming used to be something I didn’t put a lot of thought into. I just logged on and did what felt right, or what people asked for. Since my guys discovered my secret, I have to admit, I’ve been putting a little more time into planning things for the streams. My fans seem to appreciate it, and I’m getting bigger tips, so I guess it’s working out.

Settling on a cutout bodysuit with a lacy babydoll over top, I head to the bathroom to shower. While I’m under the steaming spray, I forget for a moment, everything that’s going wrong in my life. I think about Luke, Will, and Jeremy watching my live stream, and I get excited. Thinking about them makes me remember the other night, when we were all together.

I lather up my hands and run them over my body. A shiver runs up my spine, and I pause for a moment with my breasts in my hands. I can picture Jeremy and Will teasing my nipples while Luke lapped at my entrance. I roll my nipples between my fingers, then slide a hand down my stomach. My fingers stroke at my clit for a second before dipping inside me. I mimic the motions Luke made that night with his tongue, building myself up to my release.

When I come, I cry out their names. Maybe I should head upstairs a little early so there’s time for a quickie before lunch. Then I can be sure I won’t be late to the live stream. I push the thought away as soon as I have it. Sex isn’t what Luke needs right now.

I take my time washing up, then wash and condition my hair. Turning off the water, I grab a towel and dry myself before stepping out and wrapping it around me. I wrap my hair in an old t-shirt, then head back to my bedroom to get dressed. A quick check of the time tells me that I haven’t drawn everything out as much as I’d hoped.

I have nothing to do for a couple of hours. I could head back upstairs already, but I’m still worried that I’ll slip up and say the wrong thing. Or I’ll end up talking them into an orgy that Luke’s not really up for. Since I don’t want either of those things to happen, I decide that maybe a nap is the best option.

After setting an alarm, I drop the towel and t-shirt on the floor and climb into bed. I stare at the ceiling, expecting to struggle with everything weighing on my mind. Within minutes, I’m fast asleep, lost in dreams of my past mixed with my fears of the future.

Luke’s father merges with the man my father sold me to, and in my dreams, I’m the one who kills him. With my hand still in his chest, my father’s voice echoes around me. “Good job,” he says. “And to think, I tried to sell you because I thought you were worthless.”

I turn toward him and rip his heart out again. This time, I know exactly what I’m doing, and I don’t freak out after. Of course, I’m not that child anymore. As his body collapses, my father stabs me with a knife I didn’t see.

I wake with a start, clutching my stomach and expecting to see a blade sticking out of my gut. There’s nothing, though, and I scrub my hands over my face, wiping away tears I hadn’t realized were falling. I flop back on the bed, giving myself a minute to calm my racing heart. I stare at the ceiling as I focus on each thud in my chest, willing the rhythm to slow down.

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