Page 8 of Invidia

Verity grinned at me like we were in on the same joke, and Ophelia looked so excited for me that I couldn’t help but flush with pride.

I was one of them. I was fitting in. We were bonding.

“Fair enough.” Verity grinned. “Maybe you’ll see him at dinner tonight?”

“Absolutely.” I smiled back, filled with confidence. He’d come so hard that it had taken us close to an hour to leave our little hidden spot in the courtyard last night, and he’d seemed practically drunk on power after feeding from me.

Evrin had made me an even more elaborate shadow covering than the one I’d arrived in, and helped me discreetly get out of the palace and back to Elverston House through an exit only the Guard used. And he’d seemed super reluctant to say goodbye. I’d gone in for a hug, and I’d definitely had something very hard and eager pressing into my stomach.

Of course, I’d see him at dinner tonight.

There was a slightly niggly feeling in the back of my mind, reminding me that I didn’t actually know that much about him. He was in the Guard, and he’d indicated that he had a unique role there, but he hadn’t said what. And I’d never seen him in the dining hall or anywhere around the palace.

But that was all just regular getting-to-know-you stuff that we hadn’t had a chance to get to last night because I’d been busy ripping his shadows off. We’d have time for those conversations later.

“What about you?” Verity asked Meera, leaning forward in her seat. “Did anyone catch your eye?”

“Nope.” I could have sworn Meera’s face looked a little flush, but no one pushed her for more information. It had been clear from the moment we met that Meera was intensely private, and I trusted she’d confide in us more when she was ready. Compared to Astrid—who straight up vanished half of the time—Meera was practically an open book.

The day was a lazy one as we lounged around, debriefing after last night, and Verity lamented the pitfalls of having more than one glass of wine at a time now that she was over thirty. Eventually, the sky darkened, and the jittery nerves that had been on a low simmer all day bubbled up to the surface as we went our separate ways to get ready for dinner.

How much effort was too much effort? I didn’t want to be overdressed and embarrass myself, but I did want to look nice.

In the end, I opted to style my hair into an updo, leaving a few loose tendrils down to frame my face and hopefully draw attention to my neck. The swishy silk skirt I picked out was the same color as the dress I’d worn last night, and I paired it with impractically sparkly heels and a pale top for more neck-emphasis action.

I was totally overdressed. I attempted to keep my makeup on the more subtle side, but I wasn’t even sure I pulled that off.

It was extra—I was extra—but I just wanted everything to be perfect. For the first time, I’d found someone that I actually liked. The pressure was dialed all the way up to eleven not to screw this up.

“Look at you.” Verity whistled as I came down the stairs, dressed from head to toe in pale pink tulle, looking like a tall, sexy glass of whipped marshmallow. “You look gorgeous.”

“So do you,” I replied instantly because she did—as always. “Where’s Meera?”

“Waiting outside.”

“Ah, right.” I didn’t even know why I’d asked. Meera spent more time outdoors than indoors. I didn’t even bother asking where Astrid was—if she wanted to be here, she would be.

We grabbed Meera on the way to the palace, filing into the crowded dining hall and taking our usual spot all together at the front of the room.

“I think your outfit is a hit,” Verity whispered, grinning at me.

“It’s definitely drawing attention,” I mumbled, my face warm. Why had I worn the sparkly heels? I had no choice but to own it now, but the regret was potent on the inside.

The tables were long, with benches on either side, and we had a steady rotation of Shades vying to sit close to the three of us each night. There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, but I imagined there were some internal politics at play. Like it probably made some kind of difference who your family was, and how strong you were, as if those were things that we cared about.

There was some jostling around us as Shades debated who was going to get the prime spots, and I discreetly glanced up through my lashes, looking for Evrin. I couldn’t imagine him debating with someone for the privilege of sitting next to me, not with the cool confidence he’d displayed last night.

He’d just claim his rightful spot, and then check that it was fine by me in the sexiest way possible afterward.

But he wasn’t doing that. Because he wasn’t here.

He could just be running late. Don’t spiral.

I smiled like I didn’t have a care in the world as Phileas sat down next to me, falling over himself to compliment my dress and how pretty my hair looked tied up like this, and had I done something different with my makeup? Based on the looks they were giving me, Verity and Meera both thought Phileas was the mystery guy from last night, and I held my tongue even though I was desperate to correct them.

Most impressively, I repressed the slithering, insidious chill of rejection so thoroughly that not one Shade present so much as hinted at a sour note to my scent.

I turned to Meera midway through the meal, my cheeks aching with the effort of holding my smile in place. “Would it be super rude if I snuck off, do you think? I’m not feeling great.”

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