Page 96 of Undoing

“As long as I can patch things up with Cassidy, I’m fine with whatever everyone wants to do.”

“Cass in her studio. Could you give her a message from me?”

“Cassidy?”

Cass closed her eyes briefly. God, she didn’t want to be angry with Rebecca. This should be a happy time. They were together, Rebecca remembered her, and the tumor was benign and fucking gone. So why did Cass feel so fucking crappy?

“I told your aunt I didn’t want to be disturbed.” Fuck. I’m so going to get punished for my behavior. Cass was afraid that the punishment wouldn’t be the pleasurable kind. Rebecca wasn’t going to put up with this attitude for long, so Cass needed to find a way to rein it in.

“My aunt?” Rebecca gritted her teeth. She understood Cassidy’s mood, but that didn’t mean Rebecca had to like it. They should be celebrating, not fighting. “My aunt has a message for you.”

Great. Aunt Wills probably told on me, and now Rebecca was pissed off. “Yeah?” Cass tried sounding casual and bored, but it didn’t quite work. Instead, she sounded like a little kid about to get a good butt whoopin’ for being a brat.

“She told me to tell you that you’re probably right but that it wasn’t intentional. And she’s sorry. Do you want to tell me what that’s about?”

And now Cass felt like a dick. She vowed to apologize to Aunt Wills once she got her shit together. “Not really.”

Rebecca blew out a breath of frustration. “Cassidy, I understand you’re frustrated.”

“Do you?” Cass interrupted hotly. “Do you know what it’s like to take your wife, the woman you love more than anything in this world, to the hospital to have a fucking tumor removed, and then three days later, she wakes up and doesn’t know who the fuck you are? That fucking killed me, Becca.” Cass put her paintbrush down and stood up, but she didn’t dare get closer. She was upset, but she certainly didn’t want to intimidate Rebecca. “Then I realized that the woman I thought shared everything with me was holding back. I learned more about you as a stranger than your wife. The icing on the cake,” Cass scoffed, “was finding out that even after three years together and being married, I’m still just a sub to you.”

Everything Cassidy said ripped through Rebecca’s heart, but she stood there and let Cassidy get it out. Rebecca owed Cassidy that much. However, it also brought on an intense fear that she and Cassidy wouldn’t get past this if Cassidy felt this way.

“Is there more, Cassidy?” Rebecca asked calmly.

The cold fingers of panic wrapped around Cass’s heart at Rebecca’s lack of emotion. No, that wasn’t exactly true. There was emotion, just not the anger Cass had been expecting. Would that change once Rebecca knew everything?

“Well, I guess you’re going to find this out eventually. I slugged Hunter.”

Rebecca wasn’t expecting that. “I’m guessing that’s what you needed to confess?”

Cass shrugged. Rebecca’s demeanor didn’t change even after hearing Cass had punched Rebecca’s oldest best friend.

“Anything else?” Rebecca asked again. Cassidy shook her head, and Rebecca breathed in deeply. A lot depended on Cassidy’s answer to Rebecca’s next question. “May I say my piece, or would you rather I leave you alone? Or if you’d like to talk more about how this made you feel, we can do that.”

Cass frowned. “Why aren’t you mad? Why aren’t you yelling at me or, you know, bringing Mistress out?”

Rebecca tilted her head. “Because I don’t want to be like Samantha. I was reminded that I wasn’t allowed to have emotions, Cassidy. I wasn’t allowed to say no or to give voice to what hurt me.” She gestured to an oversized chair on the other side of the room. “Can we sit?”

Cass nodded again. Because I don’t want to be like Samantha, those words struck Cass. She never once thought Rebecca was like that bitch Samantha. Oh god, what if her word vomit made Rebecca believe that? Son of a bitch! This wasn’t what Cass wanted. She wanted to be honest, not fucking mean!

“Sit with me?”

Cass stopped her inner chastising long enough to do as Rebecca asked. Their legs touched when Cass sat down, and she took it as a good sign that Rebecca hadn’t moved away.

“I-I said what I needed to say,” Cass said softly. She wanted so badly to apologize. To fall to her knees and beg Rebecca for forgiveness. But Cass knew Rebecca hated it when Cass got on her knees in any form of submission.

“I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I certainly don’t want you to be afraid of Mistress. So, I would like to address the things you said to me. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, y-yes. Look, Becca, I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t…”

“Cassidy, you’re allowed to have feelings. And I want you to come to me if there’s something I’m doing that causes you unhappiness.”

“I’m not unhappy, Becca.”

“You think you’re just a sub to me.” Rebecca shook her head, not wanting to get ahead of herself. “Let me start at the beginning. You recently told me that everyone experiences the same event differently. I know what that means now more than ever after hearing your side.”

Rebecca curled her leg up under her and faced Cassidy head-on. This change within her was freeing. The fear of Cassidy leaving her had dissipated because, despite everything that was said, she still saw the love in Cassidy’s eyes. They’ve jumped hurdles before; they can do it again. Rebecca was determined to make this right.

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