Page 27 of Undoing

Rebecca looked to Cassidy, who shrugged. All Rebecca wanted was to curl up in a ball in her bed and never move again. The thought of socializing was giving her a headache. Or was that the tumor? Also, having to tell others made her feel sick. She knew her friends would support them both in different ways, but she wasn’t ready for the pity.

“I’m sorry,” Rebecca said with a forced smile. It wasn’t fooling anyone, but at least she tried. “I’m just tired and would like to just go home and curl up with Cassidy. I know you mean well, Hunter, but I’m not ready to tell the others.”

Hunter nodded and walked to the door, ready to get Dr. Lima to tell her Cass and Rebecca will need some time. She turned back, hand on the doorknob. “Maybe that’s something you should think about, too? We’re all here for you, Becca. Both of you.”

“Thanks, Hunt,” Cass saluted, effectively dismissing her best friend. She didn’t want Rebecca doing anything she wasn’t comfortable with. Even if she, herself, could use the emotional support. “Ready?”

Rebecca nodded. “We can go to the barbecue if you want, baby. I shouldn’t have made the decision for you.”

“Nah, babe.” Cass stood, helping Rebecca up from her chair and kissing her on the forehead. “I’m good with your decision. I’m kinda draggin’ myself. I see some leftovers, fluffy socks, and mindless TV in our near future.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Cass glanced over at Rebecca for the twentieth time since they began the drive home. Rebecca hadn’t said a word since leaving the doctor’s office. She sat rigidly in the passenger seat, holding Cass’s hand. Occasionally, she would squeeze Cass’s hand as though whatever she was thinking… scared her. Cass wished she could say or do something that would make Rebecca feel better. But all she could do was… be there.

“Do you need to go anywhere, baby?”

Rebecca jumped at the sound of Cassidy’s voice. “What?”

“Do you need to go anywhere?” Cass repeated. “Want some ice cream? Coffee? A mound full of sushi?”

“Oh. No, baby, I just want to go home. Please.”

“You got it.” Cass held in a sigh. She felt helpless.

“Besides,” Rebecca continued, clearly distracted enough not to notice Cassidy’s moping. “I need to call Aunt Wills. I promised her I wouldn’t keep anything from her again. I can’t break that promise.”

“Can you make that promise to me?” Cass asked suddenly. She pulled into their driveway and cut the engine, turning to Rebecca before getting out. “Were you planning on keeping this from me? Be honest, Rebecca.”

“I-I don’t know. I didn’t want to worry you when Hunter suggested the MRI. Then, when she said it was a tumor, I…I thought it’d be easier if I could understand what it was before telling you. But I was wrong. The moment I saw you, all I wanted was for you to take me in your arms and tell me it would be okay. But that’s not fair to you.”

“Why? If it offers you comfort, I will do it all day, every day.”

“You don’t know if it’s going to be okay. It’s unfair to burden you with the possibility of lying to me.”

Cass brought Rebecca’s hand to her mouth and kissed Rebecca’s knuckles with incredible tenderness. “Maybe it’s not lying. Maybe it’s manifesting. You know, putting it out there in the universe.”

Rebecca chuckled. “You don’t even believe that ‘hippy-dippy’ stuff, Cassidy.”

“I will believe in anything I need to believe in, baby.” Cass reached over and pushed a strand of Rebecca’s hair behind her ear. “Promise me, Becca.”

“I promise, Cassidy. I won’t keep anything from you.”

“Thank you. Now, it’s getting a little toasty in here because I stupidly turned off the car, and the windows are still rolled up. You call Aunt Wills, and I’ll make myself scarce.”

Rebecca watched as Cassidy slid out of the car and jogged around to her side to open the door. She accepted Cassidy’s helping hand, not relinquishing her hold when Cassidy closed and locked the car door.

“I don’t want you to make yourself ‘scarce,’ baby. I want you to be there with me. I’m sure you have as many thoughts and concerns as I do. Let Aunt Wills help us both.”

Cass grinned, touched at being included. She wrapped her arms around Rebecca, squeezing gently. “Everything’s going to be okay, Becca.” She willed those words out into the universe with all the belief she could muster. Cass made a mental note to ask Ellie to help her out in that area. “Let’s call Aunt Wills. Maybe she’ll bring us some goodies.”

“Aunt Wills?”

Willamena lifted a finger, effectively cutting Rebecca off. She’d just been told that her niece — her dead sister’s daughter — had a brain tumor. As a psychiatrist, Willamena knew how she should react. As an aunt/mother figure, all she wanted to do was cry. No, that wasn’t true. After everything Rebecca had been through in life, Willamena was angry at the added heartache. She took a deep breath, counting to ten before saying anything.

“Did you get a second opinion?”

Rebecca glanced at Cassidy, who sat quietly next to her. “Well, technically, yes. Hunter found the tumor, and it was confirmed by Dr. Lima.”

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