Page 28 of Undoing

“Dr. Lima,” Willamena repeated. “She’s quite a renowned neurosurgeon.”

“You know her?” Cass asked, breaking her silence. She couldn’t imagine how Aunt Wills was feeling. She knew Aunt Wills thought of Rebecca as a daughter. After everything else Rebecca had been through, this couldn’t be easy for Aunt Wills.

Willamena nodded. “In passing only. I’ve read some of the research she has published. Hunter chose well. What are the options?”

“Well, um…” Rebecca was a little taken aback by Aunt Wills’s attitude. She had expected some kind of reaction. Shock, sadness…something. But instead, all Rebecca got was Dr. Willamena Woodrow. Professional and unemotional. “She seems to think surgery is the way to go. She wants to go in and remove the tumor because of the symptoms, then do the biopsy.”

“Symptoms? What symptoms are you having?” Willamena sat forward, elbows on her knees. “Headaches? Dizziness?”

“Gee, Dr. Woodrow, should I schedule an appointment?” Rebecca asked sarcastically. It was silly to be upset by Aunt Will’s response, but Rebecca didn’t care. She was in her self-pity stage and wanted the people who loved her — who she loved — to feel sorry with her. Rebecca felt Cassidy’s hand on her thigh and managed to calm down. A little.

Willamena sighed. Her need to keep her emotions in check had given Rebecca the insinuation that Willamena wasn’t affected by the news. “I’m sorry if I made you think I’m not upset, my sweet girl.” She reached over and took Rebecca’s hand. “My go-to defense mechanism is to dive into the solutions. That’s not what you need. You need me to be your aunt right now.”

Rebecca squeezed Aunt Wills’s hand. “No, it’s not you, Aunt Wills. I’m feeling sorry for myself, and I think everyone else should too. It’s selfish.”

“It’s human, babe,” Cass reassured.

“Cass is right, Becca. And as your aunt, I should have given you my true feelings about this. I’m shocked and a little scared. I’ll wait for the biopsy to gauge that fear. I’m also a little miffed that you didn’t tell me you were having symptoms.”

“Miffed,” Rebecca parroted. “I didn’t know they were symptoms. I thought I was just stressed. I even…” Another glance at Cassidy. “Semi-retired because I was feeling overworked and overly tired.”

“You must’ve suspected something was wrong if you went for an MRI.” Willamena didn’t know why she was giving Rebecca the third degree. Obviously, Willamena had residual guilt from not knowing Rebecca was being brutalized by her ex. This wasn’t the way to express that guilt, but it was an honest response. Rebecca deserved that much.

“No, I went to Hunter to ask her for something to help me sleep.” Damn. I didn’t tell her about the nightmares. “I… anyway, Hunter suggested the MRI because of past… trauma.”

“We’ll gloss over why you were having trouble sleeping. For now.” Willamena raised a brow and gave Rebecca a look she hadn’t given her since Rebecca was a teenager. Then Willamena shook her head. “I’ve just realized what I’m doing. I’m focusing on everything except the actual problem because I don’t know what to do.” She felt helpless. Willamena had felt this way only three times before in her life, and she had hoped never to feel that way again. She took a moment to center herself. “Okay. When is the surgery?”

Rebecca got up to pace. “We haven’t decided yet on what to do,” she revealed. “I did a little research…”

“You Googled?” Willamena guessed.

“Yes. None of the options sound great. But surgery scares the hell out of me.” Rebecca scoffed. “You’d think this would be a breeze with all the surgeries I’ve had.”

Cass got up to intercept Rebecca, wrapping her arms around her. “This is your brain, babe. Of course it’s scary.”

“Speaking of, Cass, how does this make you feel?” Willamena asked, absolutely aware she had turned on her psychiatrist’s voice.

“I… it’s not about me, Aunt Wills.”

“On the contrary. You love Rebecca.”

Rebecca felt Cassidy’s body tense. “Aunt Wills, this isn’t a session. Cassidy…”

“It’s okay, babe,” Cass said softly. “I’m worried as fuck, if I’m being honest. I don’t know whether to prepare for the worst or hope for the best. Or fucking both. It all happened so fast, and yet we don’t know anything. I don’t even know if that fucking makes any sense, but none of this does to me. Rebecca has been through too fucking much. This shouldn’t be happening to her. If I could take her place, I would in a fucking second.”

Cassidy was practically panting by the time she finished her little rant, and Rebecca rubbed small circles on her back to try and calm her down. She reached up with her other hand to cup Cassidy’s cheek.

“Breathe, baby,” Rebecca whispered.

Cass touched her forehead to Rebecca’s, apologizing quietly for her outburst. She looked at Aunt Wills and repeated the apology.

“No, don’t be. You said what you needed to say. And what I think we all feel. I encourage you to keep that honesty going.”

“It’s not what Becca needs,” Cass disagreed. “She doesn’t need the stress of my meltdowns.”

“I think I can speak for myself on what I need, Cassidy. And I need that openness from you. Remember what I promised you? It goes both ways, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Cass kissed Rebecca’s forehead tenderly. “Are you hungry? You didn’t eat anything for breakfast or lunch.”

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