Page 92 of One Summer

‘Looks like it,’ I say, thrusting my rag into the soap suds and wishing I could throw it at his head.

Suddenly, Ted runs to the steps, wagging his tail, and greets Betty, who is staring at Caleb and me as if we’ve suddenly lost our clothes.

‘You’re both here,’ she says.

‘We do live next door to each other,’ I point out. ‘And our windows were victims of this morning’s coordinated sea gull poop attack.’

‘But you were talking to each other.’

‘Not much,’ I say.

‘Yes, we heard you’ve fallen out,’ Betty says. ‘The sistren is very concerned.’

Caleb looks over at me, sheepishly, and I try to work out what’s going through his head.

Betty takes a glass bottle out of her handbag. It has a rubber lid and appears to contain milk.

‘A freebie from Halloon,’ she says. ‘He told me to tell you that if you want a wheel of cheese, you only have to say the word and he’ll give you a good price. He also says to come and see his new ice cream place and he’ll give you the locals’ discount.’

‘Thanks,’ I say, placing the milk on the windowsill.

‘Do you want to hear today’s Wordles?’ Betty asks me. ‘I was thinking of you as I did them.’

‘Shoot,’ I say.

‘Shoot was not one of them. They were Begin, Clean and Aware, and now here I find you beginning to clean and get ready. Are you aware of anything new this morning?’

Only that I should never drink again, Caleb is an arsehole, and I can’t wait to have sex with Joshua, just as soon as I get the opportunity.

I can feel my eyes opening slightly wider as they always do when I’m about to lie.

‘No, nothing new.’

‘What is this?’ Caleb asks, not seeming to know about his grandmother’s attachment to word-puzzle-tarot.

‘I have a game on my phone, Caleb. It’s basically Wordle but instead of one puzzle a day, I can do as many as I like. So I do three and set an intention every time, setting out who it will relate to.’

‘Why?’ he asks.

‘Because I receive messages from the universe. It’s like a horoscope – except accurate.’

Caleb is starting to look alarmed.

‘Yes, technically I know it’s my OCD, but why can’t one thing about my OCD be fun?’ Betty asks, with a sigh. ‘So… I hear Joshua’s taken a shine to you, Lindy,’ she says.

I catch a glimpse of Caleb’s face and his expression is stony.

‘Do you know Joshua, Betty?’

‘Of course!’ she says, and then tells us how Joshua used to be in a garage rock band. His evening look was lots of eyeliner, no top and his ex-girlfriend’s faux fur coat, which she gifted him because she thought it suited him better. Joshua is apparently the step-grandson of Maud, and is doted on by all the Loor women. The golden boy. The adventurer. The free spirit.

‘He’s the heartthrob of the island, is what he is,’ Betty says, in summary. ‘Plus, he teaches yogalates. Ever so flexible that one, with buns of steel.’

‘Nan, please,’ Caleb says. ‘You’re a thousand years old.’

‘And yet I still have eyes,’ she says, and gives him the finger.

Seventy-Seven

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