Page 45 of The Goddesses' Gifts

I wiped fat beads of sweat from my cold forehead. “It’s possible this will be difficult for me,” I answered and gestured toward her bedroll.

Lhoris nodded. “I’m here, this time, Lobikno. And Oz actually cares about you.” He pursed his lips. “We will get through this whole thing together, the four of us.”

“A family,” I nodded. Though it was hard to consider Oz’s place in relation to me. She was supposed to be my friend—my sister. Not the mother of yet another child of mine. I’d wanted to be done siring offspring and I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about the relationship she was already forming with Oshruli. After pushing Adukli’s bond aside for decades, holding Oz at arm’s length should have been second nature, but it was a struggle. “Would you have a child with her?” I asked.

“Yes,” Lhoris answered instantly with a lopsided grin. “You know, I’m actually quite jealous of you in this,” he admitted far too cheerfully considering the topic. “But I’m confident I will be involved in raising this nibling.” He nodded toward where Oshruli and Oz wandered into the surrounding fields. “And that one.”

I lifted an eyebrow and pursed my lips. “I suppose you’re not wrong.”

I could hear Oshruli asking Oz questions she couldn’t understand. Oddly enough, she was answering correctly even though he couldn’t understand her either.

“What is that?” I imagined him pointing to whatever plant she was gathering.

“Hm, this is chickweed,” she answered.

“What do you do with it?”

There was a pause before she spoke. “I am going to eat this,” she said. There was another pause. “See?” She must have eaten some of it.

“See?” he repeated.

“No, this is chickweed.” She had him repeat the word after her. Then she had him repeat the word eat.

“She’s just dreadful with children,” Lhoris snarked.

“Fine,” I snorted. “Maybe this won’t be the worst.” I knew that much was true because I had already experienced the worst. “But this, here and now,” I gestured to the bedroll, “is going to take some time to not … dread.”

Lhoris’ cheer faded. “Like I said, we’ll get through it. Oz is alarmingly intuitive and capable of great empathy. She wants us to believe she’s too tough to have real feelings, but she does.” He eyed me. “Just like someone else I know and love.”

I only grunted in acknowledgement.

“She already knows the why and how of this process. And believe it or not, she will be sympathetic to your pain. Connect with her,” Lhoris urged, though his lip twisted in distaste. “It’s best for everyone involved.”

“I don’t think I can,” I shook my head and swallowed. How could I explain it to him? He didn’t have the same scars I did. I was glad he didn’t, but it meant we didn’t always get each other. Would he understand that, while I know she is just as much a victim as I was, that hers is the face of my most recent rapist? “The incident fucked me up again, Lhoris. Having my bonds severed made it worse.” I met his eyes. “I’m not ready for this.” I fisted the corner of her bedroll and shook it harder than I’d intended before letting go. “And I don’t want her. Never did.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Lhoris said, holding his hands up in front of him palm out. “I just thought talking to her about this might make this easier on you.”

Oz’s footsteps approached. Oshruli sat atop her shoulders, squinting against the pale, pre-dawn light. She frowned and handed me the boy’s shoes. “He refuses to keep them on,” she explained.

“Ozanna called those things shoes, ahba,” he spoke over the tail end of her words. “I told you already I don’t like them.”

I sighed.

“They protect your feet and keep them warm,” Lhoris explained. “You’ll get used to them.”

“He kept trying to take his clothes off too,” she reached up and tickled Oshruli’s socked foot. He squeaked and pulled his foot away.

“They have a hard time with clothes when they have to start wearing them,” I hedged and gave my brother a flat look. “Lhoris particularly hated wearing pants.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Well,” Oz sighed. She gave him a heated look. “Some things don’t change.”

He offered her a wolfish grin and I was suddenly very tired of being in their presence. “I had hoped you two would knock it off now that Emma isn’t around,” I grumbled. It shouldn’t bother me that they flirted. Stupid bond.

“Come here, pipsqueak,” I called to Oshruli. He scrambled down Ozanna’s cloak. “Shoes stay on until we go to sleep.”

He groaned but came to sit in my lap where I could tie the tiny leather slippers back into place.

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