Page 15 of The Goddesses' Gifts

She cocked her head and raised her eyebrows. I gave her a nod and was pleased to see realization dawn behind her eyes.

“Beware,” I said, my voice less severe, “the only thing that matters to my people is power, of which there are many kinds. We lust for it. We kill for it. We die for it. Be grateful that it works in your favor right now.”

“Fine,” she said but mouthed the words thank you.

I closed my eyes and after a few quiet minutes, I finally relaxed into a trance. While doing this for Ozanna didn’t have the same impact as if it were my own offspring, feeding a pregnancy really was a damned pleasant experience if you could tolerate the other person. But I must have been able to tolerate her better than she could me because a pitiful hiccup followed by a sniffle and the scent of tears stirred me from my trance.

“Tears won’t get you anywhere either,” I muttered.

“I don’t want to cry,” she grumbled. I cracked one eye open and found her wiping her scowling face. “I can’t help it, though. There’s just no knowing what I’ll wake up to next.”

My brow pinched, and I felt my lip twitch into a brief sneer. She was pathetic. “It’s the effect of carrying a child,” I explained with a resigned sigh. “While I’m doing this, it isn’t … inappropriate if you need to rest your head on me,” I hedged before adding, “As long as you remain quiet.”

Acts of kindness were subversive in this place, as was affection. Believe me, the irony of my only ever expressing those things in the prison wing was not lost on me. Maybe I was a sucker for pretty, pathetic halfies, or maybe I also occasionally wanted to rest my head on someone when I felt weak. Either way, I didn’t allow myself to consider it beyond that.

Ozanna clutched the blanket against her chest and scooted her upper half closer, tucking her head under my chin and resting her cheek against the collar of my shirt. I adjusted my head for comfort and her silent sobs gradually trailed off. “There, now be silent and let me rest, child.”

She nodded her head and finally drifted off.

CHAPTER 7

LHORIS

When Ozanna first became pregnant, I recognized the inner animal our new bond had stirred. I met its eye, metaphorically, and knew what it was—what role it was meant to play in this progression of my life. I welcomed it as the part of me that would protect hearth and home. It was there to tell me when my offspring needed me or if Ozanna was in distress. It was magic born of instinct. It existed within me, making its presence known by a stirring within my ribs, as if it were making itself at home, establishing a firm connection before it was ready to reach outside and finish this gradually forming bridge between Ozanna and I.

In hindsight, I pictured it as a great gaunt wolfhound, stoic and steady at my side. In the few days leading up to losing that pregnancy, I became accustomed to its presence, and mourned when I found it wandering, fruitlessly searching for the life that had summoned it into existence. Rationally, I knew and understood what happened, but this animal didn’t. It showed me the grief I was all too ready to dismiss through empathy for the beast. The creature gradually diminished. Becoming less active, like an elderly hound that was content to simply nap by the hearth it had once guarded. It didn’t have time to fade completely before Oz had been stolen away, though. That’s when it once again lifted its head and started searching … though this time it was searching for her.

At first the hound was only agitated, constantly pacing and in turn making me restless. It pestered me while I tried to sleep, as if it wanted to keep searching, rest be damned. It barked to keep me awake while Lobikno slept fitfully with Ozanna’s kerchief around his neck. Then it started a near constant snarling, nipping at my heels when I stopped to even relieve myself.

Finally, it started stalking Lobikno.

Lobikno with the one piece of her that wasn’t mine anymore. It was he with purchase on the bedrock of Ozanna’s steady spirit, with a connection that would be waxing instead of waning. Worst of all, he didn’t even want it. Something I so desperately desired that I couldn’t help but be furious with him. He wasn’t ready for this while I finally was. And poor Oz. To be bound to someone so shattered wouldn’t be easy, though I knew she’d rise to the challenge. It was just incredibly unfair to everyone involved.

After the outburst and subsequent attack on Lobikno, I told him I needed space. Not just to keep him safe, but also to consider the insight he’d imparted afterward. This gift from a goddess I didn’t worship was extremely problematic considering the length of this journey. If Lobikno hadn’t been lied to about the nature of Irnon’s curse on our kind, how long would it take before it drove me mad? Could it be reasoned with? Surely there was no benefit to driving a male to self-destruction before he could see his mate safe. Then again, Irnon had little use for males. Maybe it didn’t matter.

But the distance between my brother and I had calmed the restless, irritated creature behind my ribs. Without Lobikno’s presence, I could trance, which often led to real sleep.

Only then did I stumble upon a very peculiar place, just between trance and sleep, where I felt the steady throb of Emma’s blessing along with the beat of my heart. My magic reached for it every time but fell short of catching it. The few times I’d tried to guide the magic, it had pulled me out of rest altogether which I couldn’t afford. I gave it freedom instead, and it appeared to get closer every time.

I didn’t catch it until the morning before we’d arrive at the fortress. It wasn’t more than a brush of the fingers on the glowing orb of sunlight, but, as strange as it sounds, the blessing took notice of me. It halted my descent into sleep, holding me suspended in this between-space and asked me, What do you need, friend?

I didn’t answer right away because I’d never conversed with a blessing before. Assuming all it required was an intentional thought, I focused on a counter to Irnon’s curse.

I was abruptly thrown into consciousness, heart hammering against my ribs as though I’d been running for my life. The blessing thump-thumped against the racing tempo and I almost melted into the bedroll. The animal within calmed, the restlessness vanished, and weeks of exhaustion left me bone weary. I dropped off into the deepest sleep I’d had since our tower imprisonment.

It was dark when I awoke to find Lobikno prodding me with the toe of his boot.

“I let you sleep longer, but we need to go,” he grumbled quietly.

The creature within woke as well and startled me by clawing at the inside of my ribs. I winced and clutched my chest. Emma’s blessing thump-thumped again and the claws disappeared before my next breath.

Lobikno frowned at me. “You okay?”

“Never better,” I groaned and got to my feet. My head felt like it was full of soggy wool, but it was from having slept hard and deep. It would eventually clear, and I was sure I’d feel much better. Though I scowled when I met Lobikno’s eyes. I didn’t want to kill him, but I also felt the creature in my chest stir unhappily at his presence. If Emma’s blessing could at least let me sleep and keep the worst of the discomfort of Irnon’s curse at bay, it would be more than I could hope for.

Let the thing growl at Lobikno. We can survive that.

After seeing to the rest of my body’s needs, I packed up and we got back on the road.

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