Page 50 of Shattered

Well, his guilt isn’t my problem.

But fuck, I’m not a dick. He’s not responsible for what happened between me and anyone else or what I did to myself.

And if Sienna is willing to try to forget the past and move on, then shouldn’t I try as well?

But four fucking years later? Am I supposed to just forget everything and carry on like it never happened?

He shifts, my silence creating an uncomfortable tension in the air, but then his eyes lower a second before I feel little arms wrap around my leg.

“Holy shit. He looks just like you,” Jason whispers with awe. Then, a little louder, he says, “Hey, little dude.”

Jason stares at him like it’s only now sinking in that he’s real and that I have a son.

Adi clings to my leg but looks up at Jason with innocent curiosity. Depending on his mood and the circumstances, he can either love you instantly or be so shy that he wants nothing to do with you. I stroke a hand over his head a few times, instinctively providing him protection from someone who once hurt me.

“I, um . . . brought this for him. I hope that’s okay?”

Jason holds out something I didn’t even realize he had with him, and although one part of me wants to tell him to piss off, I don’t. After I nod, I watch as he crouches and offers it to my son.

Eyes lit with excitement, Adi steps forward, immediately reaching for the toy truck in Jason’s hand. Cars and trucks are the way to his heart right now, and I think he’s been won over.

“What do you say, Adi?”

“Thank you.”

“All right, now go play with it on the mat in your room, okay?” I use his shoulders to gently guide him in that direction before turning back to Jason, who is watching him go with a hint of regret on his face.

Returning his gaze to me, he shakes his head with a sad smile. “I missed out on being a cool uncle to him.”

I run a hand through my hair and adjust my glasses. “A lot of shit has happened, and you weren’t there for any of it.”

“I know. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just . . . I just wanted to reach out and see how you were doing and, I don’t know, see if maybe one day we could chill or something. Catch up.”

Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. “I don’t know. I mean, maybe, I guess? One day.”

I can’t tell if the following slump of his shoulders is from disappointment or relief.

“Okay. Cool. That’s something, at least.” Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out a piece of paper and holds it up in front of me. “Here, I was going to leave this in your mailbox if you weren’t home. It’s my new number.” I take it without looking at it, and he steps back, sliding his hands into his back pockets. “Well, I guess maybe I’ll see you around.”

I make a non-committal sound and watch as he turns and starts down the front steps. I’m still just trying to wrap my head around him coming here after so long to apologize, not to mention the weirdness of him showing up within a week of Sienna. They must have been talking or something, and both made the decision to see me.

He makes it to the sidewalk, and I’m not sure what compels me to call out his name, but that’s what I do. Maybe it’s the other part of me, the lonely part that occasionally surfaces despite my preference to be alone.

With raised brows, he turns and waits to hear what I have to say. Dammit, I hope this isn’t a mistake. I follow that thought with an internal sigh.

“You want to come in for a bit?”

***

I step into the living room with two cups of coffee, then watch as Jason lets Adi drive the truck over his hands and knees for the tenth time, his face no less entertained by my son than when he first saw him.

Adi switches to driving on the floor instead, and Jason accepts the mug from me.

“Do you ever hear from the other guys?” he asks after a bit, sitting back in the armchair.

Guess we’re jumping right into that shit.

“Mase, a couple of times. Otherwise, no.” I lean against the table beside the fish tank and take a sip of my drink. “Tried to see Jacob once, but it didn’t work out.”

---