Page 62 of Heart Match

‘I’m just saying.’

He holds my gaze and my fury is stronger than my weakness for him.

‘How could you do this knowing about Josh?’

I’m barely keeping it together, rage is crawling all over my skin.

‘I …’ I see hurt in his eyes. I just hope he doesn’t see any in mine. It’s not a good moment to show my weaknesses and be vulnerable.

‘I told you my deepest secret. I trusted you with the worst thing that ever happened to me,’ I say, raising my voice.

He sighs.

‘I know. I wanted to tell you on Tuesday night, but then after hearing your story about Josh, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.’

I give him a stern look. Adrenaline moved by anger is taking over me. My skin’s prickling.

‘You’re so freaking selfish, Lucas,’ I hiss.

His eyes grow wide, he almost winces at my harsh tone.

‘Tell me how I can make it better,’ he says, more like pleading.

‘That’s the thing, you can’t.’

I walk to the bathroom and go brush my teeth, leaving him ignored in the kitchen. I turn on my electric brush and when I look up, our eyes meet in the mirror. He’s standing behind me, leaning his shoulder against the door frame. He patiently waits, watching me. I can tell this is driving him crazy, so I take my time.

‘I’m sorry, Olivia. There were many times I thought you had figured it out. I know there aren’t any convincing explanations for keeping this from you. I was unfair to you.’

‘Damn right you were,’ I say with my mouth full of toothpaste.

His eyes dart through the reflexion of mine.

I wash my mouth and face. I pass him by the door, bumping my shoulder on his arm, and take angry steps towards my closet. I push open the mirrored sliding door to my lingerie collection. My eyes browse through the hangers and open a few drawers. I end up choosing a black bodysuit I designed for myself, a mix of lace, tule and leather. It’s the most erotic I ever designed, of course my pick is intentional. I lay it on the bed and move to the other part of the closet to pick something to wear for the office. I’m fully aware that he’s watching me, but I pretend I’m alone in the room.

As I pull my pyjama top over my head in front of the mirrored closet—my breasts are fully exposed, I’m not wearing a bra—I see him watching from behind. It looks like I’m slowly killing him.

Good.

‘Olivia. Stop it,’ he begs.

I ignore him. I push my shorts down and hear him sigh—I’m not wearing panties either. I grab the bodysuit from the bed and start to put it on, stepping in with one foot at a time. When I’m done with the second, he’s in front of me.

‘What are you trying to do?’ he asks.

To drive you crazy.

‘To get ready for work.’ I’m fully aware it’s not even 6:00 am yet, and that normally I’d be getting ready for a run. But I guess yesterday I ran enough for the rest of the week, and besides, I’d rather arrive early and avoid walking the hallways feeling as if I were walking the runway with all the stares following me.

He presses his fingers to his eyelids, pushing the skin to the bridge of his nose. He’s doing his best to be patient. I know I’m pushing him to the edge and for some wicked vengeful reason, that’s exactly what I want.

‘What do you want, Luc?’ I say, staring at myself in the mirror, checking how the bodysuit hugs my body.

‘I want you to talk to me, like an adult.’

‘I don’t know what to say to you,’ I say, picking up the dress I chose. He stops me, holding my hands and dress. His touch makes me gasp for air.

‘Say what you want. Scream, hit me, kick me, hurt me. I know I deserve it, but don’t ignore me,’ he pleads.

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