Page 86 of Heart Match

‘Don’t let complicated turn into regret,’ she says, her hand pat my shoulder.

There is much more to what she just said, but I don’t have the chance to hear all about it because the lift has reached the ground floor.

When I open the front door to the street, Luc’s standing outside on the pavement. He hasn’t seen me, he’s looking at the street, his Nike white cap backwards. He’s holding his big backpack over his shoulder, one hand holding his phone, the other the straps of his backpack. Just what I didn’t need right now.

Maurice and Daniel are standing beside him, focused on their conversation. It looks like they’re waiting for someone, probably the car that’s going to take them to Wimbledon. I don’t want to have to talk to him, so I unconsciously freeze where I am. I even consider going in again and give it a few minutes to come out again, but there’s no need, the driver has stopped the car by the kerb and they’re walking towards it. Maurice gets in first, then Daniel, when it’s Luc’s turn, he looks back, as if feeling my eyes on him.

He stops and holds my gaze for what it feels like an eternity. He watches me, his eyes seem hopeful, but his expression is closed and hard. For a moment I wonder if he thinks I’m there for him. I want to make it clear that I’m not, I just want him to leave already, so I make myself stop staring and check my phone.

My heart speaks to me in a way it never did before. There’s a painful feeling in my throat, something I hadn’t experienced before. It reminds me of the feeling of loss, but in a different way. I’ve lost before, but they were all losses I hadn’t had control over. I couldn’t do anything about them, other than accept them. Now it’s different. I have a choice. And I’m choosing to lose. Him.

When I lift my gaze up again, he has just closed the door, but I can still feel his eyes on me as the car drives away. I can’t breathe or move from where I am. Then I’m startled by Mrs. Thompson making her way out the front door.

I hear Thea’s voice coming from somewhere, ‘We’re here, Livvy.’ She’s leaning on the Range Rover parked by the kerb. A warm smile takes over her face and I sense her contagious morning energy approaching, I could use some today. As soon as I start to walk toward her, I hear someone else from behind me.

‘Olivia?’

It’s Luc’s mum.

I turn to find her and Dom. She has a big smile on her face. She’s so gorgeous and elegant, bright red lipstick on, hat and a beautiful dress to suit Wimbledon’s style. In some ways she even reminds me of my own mother.

‘Annette, hi!’ I’m so surprised I can’t hide it, my voice comes out like a squeak.

‘Are you coming with us?’ she asks.

I wonder what made her think that.

‘Me? No, I’m not.’

I can’t even believe my own voice when it comes out, it sounds like regret.

‘I was hoping you would,’ I hear the disappointment in her voice.

Dom looks disappointed too.

‘I thought you were supposed to go with him,’ I say.

‘With Luc? Oh no, he always goes first with Jules. He warms up and practices before the match. We go in separate cars,’ she says.

‘Olivia,’ Dom pulls me into a hug. He holds me there for longer that I expect. I don’t know why, but I feel like crying. How confusing am I now? And it’s not even PMS.

‘Hi Dom,’ I say into his chest.

‘Come with us, I know someone who’d like that very much.’ He breaks our hug and looks me in the eyes. I’m pretty sure I’m blushing all shades of pink and red.

‘I’m headed to see my parents, but I wish you all good luck for today.’ I can’t look at their faces. I feel like I’m betraying them in a way. Myself too. Today’s an incredibly important day for them all.

‘Oh that’s too bad. But we get it. I’ve already kicked his ass for lying to you. He’s still going to be able to play today despite the pain in his ass,’ says Dom, laughing at his own joke.

I flush at the thought that his family knows about us and talks about it so casually.

‘But you know, in case you change your mind …’ He places a card held by a lanyard in my hand. It takes me a few moments to realise what it is.

‘Oh, no. It’s ok. It won’t be necessary.’ I give him the card back, I know what he’s trying to do.

Touching my upper arm, he looks me in the eyes and says, ‘You know, chérie, a heart beats fast—you can change your mind fast too, from one second to the other, or in a heartbeat as people say. Sometimes you just need to listen to it.’

I don’t know what to say, because I hadn’t seen this one coming.

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