Page 87 of Heart Match

They’re both watching me, Dom still holding the lanyard, a gleam in his eye.

Just then, their car arrives. They both hesitate for a moment, I’m the one to say goodbye first and wish them good luck. Then they’re gone.

‘Olivia?’ says Thea from beside me. She lays a hand on my shoulder and when I look at her, she’s as confused as I am, but she still has a big smile on her face.

‘You look strange. Are you ok?’ asks Nate as soon as I enter the car.

I nod.

‘Who were they?’ he asks.

He’s watching me in the rear-view mirror. He has a suspicious look on his face, the one he makes when he’s fishing for the truth.

‘Luc’s family,’ I say.

‘Oh.’

He turns his face to take a proper look at me sitting in the back of his car.

‘Are you sure you’re ok?’

‘Yeah, let’s just go,’ I say, avoiding his gaze and staring out the window.

He begins to drive but I see him studying me from the rear-view mirror once again. After a moment of silence—yes, it’s apparently possible to have a moment of silence with Thea in the car—he says, ‘Why are you so in denial? It’s pathetic.’

The thing with having a close relationship with siblings is that they just know you too well. Sometimes, more than yourself. In my case, most of the time. They have, at some point in their lives, seen you at your worst and your best, they know your weaknesses and strengths, they know how to get to your head, they know what drives you crazy and what makes you incredibly happy, they had several different opportunities to experience and test it all out throughout your lives. Of course, they also know when you’re lying to them and when you’re lying to yourself too. Even if they don’t always tell you.

When I was at the hospital, after what Josh did to me, Nate came by to visit. Mum and I had agreed we shouldn’t tell him or Dad, because we knew they would want to do something about it, and I didn’t. When he asked me what happened and I began making something up about an accident, he knew I was lying. I’m not good at faking and pretending. And well, he’s my brother, he knows me well. Playing pretend with him wasn’t going to cut it, and I knew it. He knew it.

And now he knows too, of course. And maybe he knows it more than I do, he just used the right word for it. Denial. Something I hadn’t thought about until now.

‘What are you talking about?’ I pretend I don’t know.

He, of course, throws me a mocking grin.

‘Seriously?’ now he raises an eyebrow, making sure the other stays as low as possible.

Then everything changes. Because yes, I’m in denial. Luc is the best and most exciting thing that ever happened to me. And yes, he was right: I’m afraid. I’m afraid of trying, of breaking, of losing, of the unknown, of giving my all to someone I don’t know will give his all in return. But then, how will I ever know if I never give it a chance?

‘I wanna do something crazy,’ my mouth speaks before I can even think clearly.

Nate stops the car at a red light and turns his to face me.

‘Just how crazy are we talking?’ The way the corner of his mouth kicks up in a smile that reaches his eyes just confirms how well he knows me, because right now he knows the crazy I’m referring to.

‘How much do you want to make it on time for lunch today?’ I ask.

‘Hell, I’m in for skipping it,’ says Thea looking back at me too. I don’t know if she’s more excited about my proposition or not having to see Mum today.

Nate laughs, and my mouth trembles as I smile back at them.

‘Good, because we need to make it to Wimbledon,’ I say.

Cars are honking behind us as the lights have turned green.

‘We need to try to find Luc’s parents’ car. I don’t have their number and I don’t have a way of getting into Wimbledon,’ I say.

‘Then we better hurry up,’ says Nate stepping his foot on the gas pedal and spinning us in the opposite direction.

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