Page 35 of The Actor and His Secret

The thought is wrenching. I smile anyway. ‘Let me drop my stuff.’

I practically fling my bag into the entryway of my house. I make sure I have my keys this time, and my wallet - although I doubt Nikos would make me pay for anything.

‘Come on then,’ he says, holding open the front door for me. ‘Let’s go.’

I take a deep breath and join him, my eyes darting around. Nikos pops the sunglasses on and takes my hand. I’m instantly hyper-aware of the surroundings, but the people walking by don’t spare us a second glance. We’re just two men walking down the street after work.

It feels too normal. It feels too much like something I want.

I should let go of his hand, but instead I just hold it tighter.

The shop is only a five-minute walk from where I live, and every minute of it is simultaneously a nightmare and a dream. I’m afraid of paparazzi or fans jumping out from behind the bushes, but I also can’t stop myself from imagining what it would be like to spend each and every day like this.

Aldi is packed, the after-work crowd at full swell. Nikos grabs a basket with his free hand and tugs me along to the produce section, picking up herbs and onions and shiny red bell peppers, sticking them in the basket. He never once lets up on his grip, like he’s afraid that if he releases my hand I’ll run away.

Maybe he’s more perceptive than I give him credit for.

But still, I relax the more we shop, not trusting myself to speak but leaning greedily into Nikos’ side, enjoying his warmth. It’s all fine until we stop by the butcher counter.

Oh fuck no. Fuck me.

My entire body tenses until I’m stiff as a board, and Nikos gives a little yelp of pain. I look down and realise I’m gripping his hand so tightly that his skin is turning red from the pressure.

‘Oli.’

Two male voices saying my name at the same time. Nikos, easing his hand out from mine to put his arm around my shoulders, his eyes wide with concern.

Geoff, standing behind Nikos, his face etched with fury.

I whimper. Nikos turns, tucking me into his side, to glare at Geoff. He must have heard him say my name.

‘You fucking little slut,’ Geoff hisses. He looks terrible - his beard unshaven, his hair too long, his eyes bloodshot. He’s standing there with a basket full of generic products. Geoff never bought generic, the snob. ‘It’s been what, two months? And you’re already sleeping with someone else?’

I open my mouth to defend myself, to say you were the one having sex with other men in our bed. But my face is flushed with humiliation, and I know that if I start to speak, the angry tears building in my eyes will overflow.

Thank God Nikos comes to my rescue.

‘Do not,’ Nikos practically growls, ‘speak to Oliver that way.’

‘Be careful of him.’ Geoff barks out a harsh laugh. ‘Lost my job because of that one. He broke my heart enough that it wasn’t in my work anymore either.’

There’s a strong smell of alcohol coming off Geoff, and I have a sneaking suspicion about what precisely he was doing instead of working.

‘Frankly, that seems like a you problem.’ Nikos dips his head down to press a kiss to the top of my head. ‘He’s treated my heart just fine. And my cock even better.’

Nikos glares at Geoff and it must scare the crap out of him - Nikos is bigger and broader and looks like he could take Geoff out in a heartbeat - and I feel just a little bit better when Geoff sneers, but then turns on his heels and leaves.

I curl into Nikos, grateful that he’s holding me. I didn’t think I’d ever run into Geoff again, although I’d stood in the shower enough nights thinking about what exactly I would yell at him if I did see him again. But it turns out that when faced with him, I was just a coward.

Which is how I know that I’m not going to be able to let Nikos Ridge go.

14

NIKOS

I force us to stop in a park on the way back to Oli’s house. We sit down on the grassy lawn, staring out at a small pond with mallards and a swan - majestic as fuck, but as deadly as I feel inside.

We’re shaking for different reasons.

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