Page 84 of The Winning Ticket

“Did she know you were coming here?” Morgan asks, stepping back into Chris’ side.

“No.”

“Should you be driving when your head is like this?” she asks, her mothering instincts kicking in.

“I’ll be fine..”

They were both quiet for a few moments.

“I’m so sorry, man. We’ll miss seeing you. I guess we all got caught up in having everyone back together again,” Chris says.

“I know. But we’re not kids anymore. It’s time for me to start getting on with the life I was setting up for myself out in Stanthorpe.”

“Don’t be a stranger, okay? We’re still family.” Morgan’s voice is thick.

“I’ll see you guys on Friday, I promise.” I nod at them both and then turn to leave.

A hand clamps down on my shoulder, and I turn back while Chris pulls me into a quick hug. “She’ll come around, mate. We’ll make sure she gets her head sorted. Don’t give up on her.”

I clap him on the back and step back. “I’ll never give up on her.”

I leave my two best friends standing in their doorway and drive off, wishing like hell I was driving towards the woman I love with all my heart instead of into a future that feels so uncertain.

37

DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE

BRIANNA

I spent the rest of Sunday in a ball on the couch, consuming all the bad food I had in the apartment and repeatedly replaying the entire interaction with Jake. By the time I collapsed into bed around midnight, I was a complete wreck and questioning every decision I’d ever made in my life.

I’d broken Jake’s heart because I was too scared to let anyone in again, and I’d made him think I believed he was capable of destroying my self-worth as Richard had done. I was the worst, proving that I didn’t deserve him. He needs someone who truly appreciates how perfect he is, not some broken girl from his past.

Weeks ago, I put in a leave request for Monday, thinking I’d be lying in bed with Jake all day after a massive weekend. So that leaves me more free time to overanalyse myself and stare at my phone, wishing Jake would message me and resisting the urge to call him to beg him to come back.

Instead, my blank phone screen stares back at me, taunting me with the lack of communication. I’d become so used to hearing from Jake in one form or another regularly that I feel like I’ve lost a limb without hearing from him now. Not even a text to say he’d made it home okay, which he’d started doing even before we’d fallen into bed together. He’d said he was giving me space, but the radio silence made this feel final. He’d said our friendship would survive even if we stopped having sex, but I’m not sure I believe him. Or if I can even go back to just being friends. Not when my body is screaming out just to be held by him right now.

“Enough!” I say aloud, startling Maddie, who is curled up between my legs while I lie in bed.

She jumps up and stares at me, her little doggy face showing her confusion about why I chose to wake her by talking to myself.

“Sorry, munchkin.” I sit up and scratch her behind the ears before finally leaving the bed for the first time, even though it’s past midday.

I’m usually an early riser, and even after my break up with Richard, I’d never lain in bed feeling sorry for myself, so I know this is hitting me harder than I am ready to admit to myself.

I decide to go for a walk to clear my head. Changing into my activewear, I attach Maddie’s lead and head towards the river. At the same time, I listen to what I’ve come to call my Jake Playlist, aware that this probably won’t help me feel any better, but unable to resist listening to all the songs that remind me of him.

Just as I’m mentally berating myself for continuing to wallow, my music is cut off, and the sound of my ringtone fills my ears. I push aside the disappointment when I see that it’s an unsaved number calling, knowing full well I’d hoped it was Jake, and answer the call while I continue walking.

“Hi, is this Brianna Watkins?” The official tone of the woman’s voice on the other end of the phone gives me pause, and I move to the side of the path before stopping.

“Yes,” I say hesitantly, watching Maddie sit beside my foot before looking up at me expectantly.

“This is Chantelle from Visit Queensland. Have I caught you at a bad time?”

I resist the urge to let out a little squeal. In all my wallowing, I’d forgotten about the job I’d applied for.

“No, now’s fine. Thank you for calling.”

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