Page 85 of The Winning Ticket

“I’m just looking at your application and am very interested in interviewing you. Would you be available this week to come in and have a chat?”

I punch the air and do a little dance, earning me a concerned look from the older woman jogging past, and she gives me a wide berth.

“That would be great. I can make myself available whenever it suits you.”

“Okay, great! How about Wednesday at four? I’ll send you an email with all the details.”

We say our goodbyes, and I let out the squeal I was holding in. Maddie starts dancing excitedly around my feet, and I pick her up to hug her close. I immediately pull Jake’s number up on my phone and am just about to call him when everything comes flooding back. Then, my excitement subsides. The fact that he’s the first person I want to tell should be clue enough that my feelings for him are far stronger than I’m willing to admit, but the knowledge that I am just going to hurt him, in the long run, stops me from letting that thought go any further.

Resolving to focus entirely on this interview, I continue walking, pushing aside the voice in the back of my mind, telling me I’m a coward. The voice sounds strongly like Jake’s.

When I arrive home, I’m surprised to see my sister sitting in my living room.

“Hi… What are you doing here?” I ask, pulling my headphones out and putting them back in their case while I survey the nervous-looking blonde woman sitting before me.

Maddie leaps into Morgan’s lap and demands attention. Morgan roughs Maddie up a little, keeping her eyes on the little dog instead of meeting my curious gaze. I’ve been avoiding her calls and messages since yesterday morning, but she doesn’t seem mad at me, which immediately throws me off balance.

“I came to check on you.”

I stiffen a little, instantly going on alert when I hear the concern in her voice. “Why do you need to check on me?” I ask, trying to sound like everything is fine.

Morgan is quiet for a moment before finally looking at me. “Jake stopped by on his way out of town yesterday.” There was no avoiding the worried look on her face.

“Oh.”

“Yeah… Oh.”

“So, have you come to tell me you knew this would happen, and what a bitch I am?” I ask, unable to hide the bitterness from my voice.

“No. I came to see if you were okay. And to apologise.”

Well, I expected this conversation to go differently. “Come again?”

Morgan sighs and shakes her head. “I guess I deserved that.”

I continue to look at her while so many questions swirl around in my head. “What are you apologising for? I’m the one who fucked up.”

“No, you didn’t. If I’d kept my opinions to myself and hadn’t basically told you that Jake was too good for you, then you wouldn’t be feeling like you don’t deserve him.”

The silence in the room that follows her statement is deafening. I stare at her for the longest time, processing what she’d said.

“I didn’t say I don’t deserve him.”

Morgan fixes me with a knowing look, pursing her lips while she shakes her head. “From what Jake said yesterday, you might not have said it aloud, but he knows that’s what you feel. He’s intuitive like that. And I know that is my fault. Although, I also blame our parents. Have you ever noticed that in all your attempts to not be like Mum, you’ve become Dad instead? You are scared to go after what you want because you’re worried about what others will think of you, and that’s not healthy.”

I don’t reply, overwhelmed by the little voice in my head saying Jake really is better off without me in his life, that I’ve just made his life worse since I’ve been here.

“If I hadn’t given you a hard time about Jake, you wouldn’t be pushing him away right now. He’s your person, Bri. I could see it as plain as day on Saturday with the way he stood up to Chris and me. And if I’m honest, I’ve known it for a while. Even before I knew you were together, I could see how in tune you were to each other. I haven’t seen Jake this comfortable for years, and you gravitate towards each other even when you don’t realise it.”

I let out an unsteady breath and shake my head.

“All I’ve done since I came back into his life is complicate it. He deserves someone who can be with him without questioning everything between them. Without the baggage I come with.”

“Bri, that person doesn’t exist. We all have baggage. God, Jake isn’t perfect. I know how much he resents his life as it is, but he won’t deal with that. But I could see how much happier he has been since you came back, Bri. I know you think you’ve complicated his life, but did you ever think that was what he needed to realise what he finally wants?” Morgan’s eyes light up with determination, and she balls her hands into fists as though resisting the urge to shake me.

“And what does he want, Morgan? If you know everything, tell me that.”

“You mean, besides you, you idiot? He wants to feel at home out in Stanthorpe, but he won’t ever feel that way because what he wants is here. He wants you, and he wants Stanthorpe. And I know, for a fact, that you would have loved it out there. This apartment is the life you used to have, but his life out there is the sort of life you always wanted for yourself. You were never the big city girl that Richard made you into. So before you destroy everything because you think you don’t deserve him, consider whether he deserves the happiness he will have with you.”

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