Page 65 of The Winning Ticket

Jake’s eyes fill with concern, and his grip on my neck tightens slightly. “What do you mean? Did Richard force himself on you?”

I can hear the anger behind his words, and I shake my head a little. “Not like that. He was older than me, and I think he believed I couldn’t make decisions about any part of my life for myself. He got off on control. He never laid a hand on me, but the more I look back on our relationship, the more I realise that he made every decision for me. What I wore, what I ate. Who I spent time with. Every holiday we went on was to where he wanted us to go. We visited my family only when he decided we should.” I can feel a tear forming in the corner of my eye, but I refuse to look away from him. “When we moved in together, he never really asked me to move in. He just told me one day we should live together, and then the next week, he moved all my stuff in from the apartment I shared with the one friend I had left in Sydney, and I lost contact with her not long after. We only hung out with his friends, went places he wanted to… And I just let him walk all over me. Because I’d watched how my mother treated my father, and I was terrified of becoming like her… So I gave up control, and he took it without thinking twice.” I took a deep breath before letting it out and shaking my head. “But the last year or so, after I got Maddie and I don’t know, started standing up to him more, he became more distant. He was punishing me for taking back some of that control. I’m not sure what the tipping point was that led to him ending things the way he did, but I think the reason why I haven’t particularly grieved the ending of the relationship is that I’m just relieved. Although, how he ended it certainly hurt like hell.”

Throughout my entire monologue, Jake’s eyes never move from my face. He listens intently, understanding shining through when he nods, his fingers still firm against the back of my neck. “That is a lot to deal with, Little B.”

“I don’t want to ever fall into that sort of relationship again.”

“Is that why you hesitated when I asked if you wanted to move here?” he asks, covering my hand with his and lacing our fingers together again.

“A little. I was scared to live somewhere that someone could take away from me again. That’s why I insisted on signing a lease,” I reply, and he exhales.

“I hope you know that I would never, ever do anything like what he did, regardless of what happens between us. This is your home. I’m the one visiting it, Bri.” He lets go of my fingers to catch a tear from my eye, wiping it away with his thumb. “I will never do anything that takes away your control. I promise you. You can trust me. Everyone in our lives will make sure that you never feel that way again.”

The conviction in his voice finally breaks me, and I nod even as the tears start to fall faster. He pulls me to him and holds me while I sob into his neck, running his hand up and down my back while he murmurs words of comfort and lets me cry out years of pain I haven’t allowed myself to feel until now.

Eventually, I gather myself together. “Thank you,” I whisper against his throat, and I feel him swallow hard.

“You never need to thank me for being your friend, Bri. That’s just a given and feels as easy as breathing. Thank you for trusting me enough to share all of that with me. I’m always here for you, okay?”

I pull back again and smile at him while I wipe away the wetness on my cheeks.

“Okay.”

We give up on the movie and just lie together, listening to Jake’s favourite playlist, content to lie in companionable silence. Jake’s hold on me is tighter now, and every now and then, he shifts to press a kiss to my temple. No one has ever held me like this before, and I couldn’t pull away even if I wanted to. He makes me feel safe in a way that no one ever has before. In a way that I never thought possible.

Jake clears his throat after what could have been hours or minutes, his fingers still tracing circles on my upper thigh, which is slung across his hips.

“So, I’m not sure when I will be able to come back to Brisbane before the bucks party. But… do you think you’d want to come visit me in Stanthorpe one weekend?” His words are tentative, and I’m not used to him sounding so unsure.

I shift slightly to look at him. “Just me, or would the others come as well?”

He’s quiet for a moment while he studies my face. “Just you. I’ve never really thought about asking the others to come out there, actually.”

“Really? You’ve been out there for like seven years, haven’t you? I assumed Morgan and Chris had at least been out to visit.”

“Morgan has suggested it a few times.” He shrugs, and I do nothing to hide my confusion. “It just never seemed like the right time to invite anyone out there, and it’s easier to catch up with everyone here. I usually come back for a weekend once a month or so anyway.”

“Jake… Do you mean to keep your two lives separate?” I ask, trying to understand.

He’s quiet for a long time, and I wonder if I’ve overstepped.

“I don’t know… Maybe unintentionally. I don’t really have much out there aside from my job and Dad, so it has just never occurred to me that anyone would want to come hang out there when there is so much more to do here.”

Something about his confession hits me in the chest, and I feel a wave of sadness wash over me.

“Jake, it’s you they wanted to visit. They don’t care about being entertained out there. Stanthorpe is beautiful, at least the few times I’ve been out there, and they are capable of finding things that they want to see. But I can guarantee they just want to see that side of your life.”

His brows knit together while he considers what I’ve said. “So, you’d want me to invite them along, too?”

I pause. If he invited the whole group, that would mean we’d have to watch how we act around the others, and lying on the couch like this with Jake has made me realise I don’t want to have to hide the need to be touching him.

“How about I come first… and you can invite the group another time? I’d love to see your life out there without thinking about whether Morgan will be suspicious about anything I say or do if we’re with them for an entire weekend.”

He smiles slowly. “Yeah? And what do you think you’d say or do that she’d get suspicious about?”

“Well… Maybe I’d see you doing something so intensely hot and just need to do this,” I say, stretching up a little to kiss him gently, but he immediately deepens it, pulling me over him so that I’m straddling his hips.

“What hot things do you think I’d do that would mean you couldn’t keep your lips off mine?” he asks, breaking the kiss to look at me with a heated gaze.

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