Page 36 of Love in the Shadows

What was also evident was that there was little Frau Neumann could do about anything, and especially if her husband decreed otherwise. She was trapped by the necessity for obedience that was demanded of her. What Fabienne didn’t know was whether the kommandant’s wife would do something if she could see how. Fabienne could help Frau Neumann if that was the case, but for that, Fabienne would need to trust her. While in her heart she wanted to believe in her, her head wouldn’t let her. Not completely.

“You’re still thinking about her,” Mamie said.

Fabienne ran her fingers through her hair and rubbed her eyes. “She doesn’t like Müller any more than we do.”

“She doesn’t much like her husband either.” Mamie put her hand on Fabienne’s arm. “If you are going ahead with this plan tonight, make no mistakes with him, Fabienne. Don’t give him a second chance.”

If Müller became aware she had to leave her duties, he would involve the kommandant in a heartbeat. It wouldn’t be a question of whether Frau Neumann wanted to help; she wouldn’t be able to intervene. Both men would be of a mind to make Fabienne stay even if it was to the detriment of a child, and even without the pressure of the senior German officers who would expect the Neumanns to be fully in control of their household. No, if Müller found out, her plan to leave the house would be thwarted and that would impact the mission. She would put enough webcap mushrooms in his soup for him to become preoccupied with stomach cramps during the evening and to not wake up at some point within the coming week. “I will, Mamie. I will.”

She couldn’t let go of her thoughts about the kommandant’s wife’s leaning regarding the war. She had a strong inclination that Frau Neumann would do something to help them. She hoped she was right, because if, as she assumed, Frau Neumann was intelligent enough to work out how Müller had died, then she would also know who had poisoned him. The answer as to the kommandant’s wife’s loyalties would be confirmed soon enough. Either she would become a silent conspirator, or Fabienne would be shot along with Mamie and Nancy. But the alternative was to let Müller live, and Fabienne couldn’t do that. Not after everything the evil putain de Boche had done.

“Frau Neumann won’t be able to help us if Müller finds out, but that doesn’t mean she supports the war.”

Mamie sighed. “No mother in their right mind could want to see their husband and children taken from them, never to return. That doesn’t mean she is on our side either.”

Fabienne knew Mamie was talking about the loss of her two children, Fabienne’s mother and Nancy’s father. Fabienne had the hurt of having lost the people she loved the most, but she knew it was nothing compared to a mother losing their children before their time. She eased Mamie into a gentle embrace, reaffirming the promise she’d made to herself at her parents’ graves. “That is why we must fight until the end,” Fabienne whispered, ignoring Mamie’s comment that Frau Neumann might not be on their side. Given the discussion she’d had with Frau Neumann, Fabienne was sure she was on the side of justice and fairness and goodness. That was as good as she could expect. She hoped it was enough. “Now we must go to the house and prepare dinner.”

***

Fabienne and Mamie entered the kitchen to a bounty of food.

Mamie unwrapped a parcel to reveal a large slab of meat. “This will need braising.”

Fabienne checked off the other items: artichokes, potatoes, two tins of peaches, eggs, milk, a small packet of Italian coffee, flour, sugar, butter and cheese. “Anyone looking in might think the war has ended,” she said.

“That would be a treat.” Mamie beat the meat with a rolling pin and set to work making the stew.

Fabienne prepared the vegetables and put them in a pot so they would be ready to boil later. She took the mushrooms out of the basket, leaving the cup of poisonous mushrooms hidden under a towel. She chopped the ingredients and made the soup, adding a splash of white wine for flavour.

“I’ll stoke the stove,” she said, and added some wood. She took the basket outside and filled it with logs, then lit a cigarette and stood staring out over the garden. She turned at the click of the kitchen door opening.

“It’s a beautiful sky this evening. It’s nice when the sun goes down later in the day,” Frau Neumann said.

Her eyes were glassy and red-rimmed, her fair skin blotchy, as though she’d been crying. Fabienne studied her, wondering what had caused the sadness, drawing down on her cigarette. She blew the smoke into the air. It seemed they both needed a distraction. “We used to lay on the lawn stargazing late into the night in the summer months.”

“I used to enjoy going to my mother’s house in the countryside just to see the stars so clearly.” Frau Neumann said. She released a long breath. “How are the preparations going for supper? Do you have everything you need?”

Fabienne stubbed out her cigarette. “It will be a feast. There is enough food to feed an army.”

Frau Neumann frowned. “Really?”

“Well maybe not an entire army.” Fabienne smiled.

She didn’t want to have a poke at her when it was the kommandant’s privileges and the captain’s contacts that had given them access to supplies that others could either only dream of or be killed for in the process of navigating the black market. “You look like you could do with one of these,” she said as she took the Gauloises out of her pocket. She presented the packet.

Frau Neumann stared at them longingly, and sighed. “I had given up,” she said as she pulled a cigarette free and put it to her lips.

Fabienne struck a match and cupped her hand around the flame as she lifted it to the tip.

Frau Neumann leaned forwards, cupped her hand around Fabienne’s, and drew down. She didn’t appear to notice the subtle contact that left Fabienne’s skin tingling. Fabienne shook the match to extinguish it, dropped it to the ground, and put her hand in her pocket.

“My husband informed me that our son, Ralf, has been selected to join the 12th SS Panzer Division. He leaves for Belgium today.” Frau Neumann tilted her chin upwards and blew out a stream of smoke.

“Not a good day, then,” Fabienne said.

“Gerhard seems to think it’s a wonderful day.”

It was the first time she had used her husband’s name in front of Fabienne, and she was sharing information she probably should not. Her shoulders sagged, defeated. She could be French in the way she looked right now. She wrapped her arm across her body and held the cigarette poised at her lips. In the light of the stars, she carried the elegance of a film star, or a model, and yet she looked forlorn. Fabienne was even more confident in her judgement of Frau Neumann. Her heart skipped a beat. How she wished they were alone and without the war. She would have offered her an embrace, comforted her.

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