Page 55 of The Bodyguard

It’s better if she doesn’t...but I wanted her to.

I write the reaction off to a lack of sleep. I lay awake for hours thinking about how I fucked my client on a damn washing machine and what that says about me.

Not the sexual act—that was hot as fuck—but Josh is one of my closest friends. I’ve breached our employment contract, and while I might not have cared in the moment or even for a few hours after, it’s starting to weigh on my mind.

That he slept with Cassy is different.

It’s his company, and she ended up being his wife.

That’s not going to happen here. The lust between Savannah and me is pure chemistry. Raw, hot, and dark.

It's fucking amazing.

I could become addicted to this desire and to fucking her all night.

I think she could too.

Except where I would want to possess her, she’d soon lose interest. Savannah has millions of men all around the world desiring her.

Just to be clear, I’m not insecure. I’m extremely confident in my capacity to pleasure her or any woman. But I know enough about the opposite sex to know it’s never just physical.

She has the world at her fingertips right now. Powerful and interesting people will tempt her, and the public won’t accept her settling for someone like me.

Not that I’m looking to settle down. But I’m also not looking for a lover I have to hide. I don’t share. If I am with someone, you bet the world knows she’s mine.

I’m possessive and make no apologies for it.

There’s been only one woman of importance in my past. Our careers came between us after five years together. Delta team demanded too much secrecy and the need to disappear at any moment. Then Suzie was promoted at the hospital she worked in as a doctor. We were like ships in the night for the last twelve months of our relationship. So I moved out, and we parted amicably.

It was only when I returned from the mission that changed me that I ended up in Suzie’s arms and bed one last time.

She doesn’t know the details. I couldn’t tell her and didn’t want to relive it.

I needed to not think.

Not remember.

But I do remember and yet again, I’m aware that it would be best if someone else was walking onto this plane with Savannah.

Yet here I am.

I rang Aidan this morning and told him to keep Marshall on his client and that I’d continue.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yup. Given the circumstances and that I’m up on the details now, it’s just easier.”

“Easier for who? I may not know what your trigger is, but I know you, Ryder. You don’t walk away from a responsibility, so whatever happened in the past, if it’s going to put her at risk, you need to reconsider.”

“It won’t,” I said firmly.

“What changed your mind?”

She did.

“As I said, whoever’s threatening her has acted twice that we know of and it’s likely to be someone close to her. These cases can be complicated. I’ve already become familiar with a lot of people in her world, so because this is both a protective and investigative job, I think it’s more productive if I stay on it.”

Bullshit.

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