Page 89 of Penalty to the Heart

It’s only when I get home that the severity of what just happened fully dawns on me.

Suspension.

Suspension is the warning shot the Guardians give you before they kick you out and fire your ass.

Aside from Nate, no one has ever survived suspension.

No one.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Everything is so fucked up.

Who am I if I’m no longer playing for the Guardians?

Who am I if not Jack’s pain-in-the-ass younger brother?

Who the fuck am I?

The answer to that question scares me even more than the question itself because I don’t know it. I have no idea who I am without either one.

My world is crashing down on top of me when I hear my doorbell ring.

I walk over on heavy feet and open the door to find Nate standing outside with a six-pack in his hand.

“What are you doing here?” I croak.

“What do you think?” he says, raising the beer in his hand.

I widen the door for him to pass through, uncaring that my apartment is still in a state of chaos.

Nate doesn’t say anything about it, swiping my discarded clothes off my couch to the floor to sit down. He pulls out a beer and hands one over to me.

“I’m not here to give you a hard time, Caleb. I’m just here to drink a beer with my friend.”

I nod, swallowing the large lump in my throat.

I take a seat next to him as we just stare into the abyss, neither of us in the mood to talk.

My head is swarmed with thoughts, each one more depressing than the other.

We’re on our third beer when all of it comes crashing down on me.

The accident.

Jack’s coma.

Erin and the girls barely making it.

My mom’s cold shoulder.

Firing Piper.

Bellamy.

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