Page 20 of Penalty to the Heart

“Let’s just say that the two brothers are polar opposite of each other. Jack was a pillar in our community, a force of reliability and encouragement within the team. Whereas Caleb is nothing but a loudmouth class clown. If you look up the word jackass, then I’m sure you’ll see his picture attached to it. He was always getting himself in trouble, knowing damn well his big brother would sort out his mess.”

“You’re angry at him,” I conclude, after such a defaming description of his teammate.

“You bet I am,” he sneers. “Everyone is talking about how it was Jack driving that night and how unfortunate it was that the truck driver didn’t see the car in time to brake, but no one is talking about how Caleb is at fault for all of it.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, invested in his version of events.

“I mean that the only reason Jack was there, to begin with, was to drive his drunken, sorry ass of a brother home after he spent the whole night partying. Entitled little shit,” Lenny curses the last part under his breath. “Couldn’t he have called an Uber or taken a cab home or something? Of course, he could. But he didn’t. Instead, he called his big brother because Jack was always cleaning up after him. Like I said. It was the wrong brother whose future was stolen from him that night. It should have been Caleb, not Jack,” he finishes with conviction.

“That’s a lot of anger for just one person. Are you sure that you’re not holding onto that animosity because dealing with what happened to Jack is too disheartening for you to accept?” I ask, needing to get to the root of this unexpected rage.

“I told you how I got here, right? How I attempted a play on the ice but lost my balance, falling awkwardly and busting my kneecap in the process?”

“You did.” I nod, knowing that’s how he prefers to remember the incident.

“Well, the only reason why I fell was because some fool, who couldn’t stop fucking around in practice, distracted me.” Lenny jeers. “I’m here in a hospital bed, going on my third knee surgery, and he didn’t even get a slap on the wrist for it. I’ll give you two guesses who that jackass was, though I’m sure you’ll only need one.”

“Caleb Donovan,” I answer, the puzzle pieces all falling into place.

“Bingo,” he confirms, nostrils flaring.

“I see.”

“You know what, Roxanne? I’m feeling kind of tired right now. Talking about that asshole really drained me. Do you mind if we take a raincheck on our game for next time?”

“Of course,” I relent, seeing that all his good disposition flew out the window the minute we started talking about Caleb Donovan.

I pack up the cards and place them back inside the deck while Lenny makes himself comfortable in his hospital bed. I pick up my handbag and turn to him to say goodbye.

“I’ll return later this week for a rematch. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get lucky and win this time,” I tease lightly, unsettled that we’re ending our session on such a somber note.

“Like I said, Roxanne, no one who spends their days in this place is lucky. No one. Least of all me.”

My light smile slips off my face at his reply.

Whatever headway I had managed to make today with Lenny, it went down the drain with the mention of his fallen team captain and his younger brother.

I should have known better not to broach the topic. I’ve been working for the Boston Guardians for far too long to have forgotten what a tight unit they are.

They’re more than teammates—they’re family.

When one hurts, they all do.

Having said that, I can understand Lenny’s need to place the blame for his circumstance, as well as his teammate’s, onto a third party, even if said party is another teammate. Having a scapegoat where you can put all your grievances, resentment, and heartache is highly appealing to someone going through it . Placing blame on an actual person or even an abstract concept, such as luck, is easier than facing the dire truth that life, even with all its glorious potential and wonder, can be incredibly cruel and unfair.

People get injured while on the job even after taking every precaution to ensure they don’t.

People get hurt and killed in car accidents every day, no matter how prolific their driving.

People get sick and die, regardless of their young age.

Luck doesn’t factor into it.

Karma has no say on the matter.

Life just happens… to the best and worst of us.

We all have moments like these where we are tested. Where we are given more than what we feel we can possibly endure.

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