Page 21 of Penalty to the Heart

Moments… where we fall from grace.

I should know.

I still bear its scars.

But what no one told me at the time of my own misfortune was that it was okay to fall. That there’s no shame in letting ourselves slip away and get momentarily lost and engulfed in our misery. That sometimes darkness holds more solace and comfort than light could ever bring.

I learned the hard way that giving myself permission to wallow in my grief was a step in the right direction to my own personal healing.

I had to be in it to finally want to overcome it.

Grueling as it was, it was this eye-opening experience that helped me become a better therapist. Not only did it give me more empathy and allow me to connect with my patients on a deeper level, but it also taught me that life’s sneaky treacheries are no match compared to a soul’s resilience.

It’s a basic animal instinct to want to survive.

It’s human nature to want to overcome adversity in whatever form it appears.

This visceral need is ingrained in our very DNA.

And right now, it’s my job to remind Lenny that he has this inner strength inside him, even if he can’t see yet. However, it will prove difficult for him to see anything if he keeps blaming others for his misfortunes, refusing to take any accountability for his own actions.

Unbeknownst to him, Coach Liam Byrne gave me a detailed description of how Lenny suffered his injury. In his need to show his team what he could bring to the table, he attempted a risky play, one that he wasn’t skilled enough to accomplish. He got hurt because of his own reckless actions and no one else’s.

However, based on today’s conversation, it seems that it will be some time before he’s able to acknowledge his own role in all of it. If I’m going to have any shot at helping Lenny, I need to find a way to ease him into coming to terms with his own involvement regarding the challenges he’s facing now.

Maybe I could ask Coach Byrne to lend me the practice tape of that day.

Maybe if he sees it with his own eyes, it will force him to see his own accountability.

As I walk down the hospital corridor, these are the thoughts rummaging in my brain after leaving Lenny’s room. I’m so distracted trying to conceive a plan to get him back on track that I don’t see the brick walking towards me until it literally knocks into me and drops me to my knees.

Only it isn’t a wall.

It’s none other than my patient’s professed arch-nemesis—Caleb Donovan.

Chapter 4

Roxanne

Out of all the people I could have crossed paths with within the halls of Mass General, Caleb Donovan was the last person I expected to run into.

Figuratively and literally.

“Damn it,” I curse, more upset at the fact that every item in my bag has spilled over onto the floor than I am of the small scrapes and bruises my knees have suffered with the clash.

“Fuck. Sorry,” he says apologetically.

“It’s fine. I should have been paying more attention to where I was walking,” I reply dismissively.

“Yeah, you should have.”

He did not just say that .

Annoyed at his response, I crane my neck back to stare daggers at the man hovering over me, but I lose all track of thought when my gaze lands on his face.

Up to this point, Caleb Donovan was just a name—a figure I briefly glanced at on the news, nothing more. But now that I’m on my knees, staring up at his tall frame, I can’t help but take full stock of him, the somber image permanently engraving itself in my mind.

His brown wavy hair falls effortlessly over his forehead, framing his exhausted yet striking face—a canvas of youthful perfection, with chiseled cheekbones that cast delicate shadows across his smooth, olive-toned skin. His eyes, the lightest shade of green I’ve ever seen on a person, hold a weight of sadness that is at complete odds with his other breathtaking attributes. The curve of his lips is tinged with a hint of melancholy, as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Even the lines of his strong jaw seem to carve a path of unspoken sorrow. And yet, despite the sadness lingering in his features, there is a beauty so stunning that it takes me a minute to remember his insolent remark.

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