Page 24 of New Hope

Chapter Nine

FORD

“That’ll be thirty-four fifty, sir.” I pursed my lips at the young delivery driver. Nothing made me feel older than being called sir. Especially when I wasn’t in uniform. With a barely audible ‘thanks’, I handed him the money along with a tip, then kicked the door shut with my foot.

“Did he spit on the pizza or something?” Mike joked as he walked into the room and grabbed the food from my hands.

I followed him into the kitchen and began pulling plates out of the cabinet. “Worse. He made me feel old.”

Mike laughed. “I hate to break it to you, bud, but we are getting old. I mean, not old enough for a retirement home yet, but we’re definitely not as young as we used to be.”

“Who’s not as young as they used to be?” Ben asked as he stepped into the room.

“Grandpa Ford.” Mike dodged my hand as I playfully swatted at the back of his head. I’d been feeling restless all day and had been dreading going home to a quiet house, so I’d invited the two of them over to watch the football game.

“Ah. Must be all the gray hair.” Ben’s voice was muffled as he began rooting around in the fridge.

“What?” I demanded, grabbing a spoon out of the drawer, and using it to check my hair. Other than a few strands of gray along my temples, it was as dark as usual. When he emerged a few seconds later, he was holding three bottles of beer and wearing a shit-eating grin. My eyes slid over to the other man who was covering his mouth with one hand and trying to contain his laughter. “What the hell are you laughing at? You’re not that far behind me in age,” I reminded Mike. That was all it took for the two of them to bust out laughing. “Assholes,” I muttered.

I flung the spoon at Mike who caught it easily with one hand. He laughed as he tossed it into the sink then began digging into the food, piling pizza and hot wings onto his plate. Ben did the same, filling his own plate before joining Mike in the living room where we’d been watching the game. I shook my head at their retreating forms. They were good guys and I liked hanging out with them. Even when they were giving me shit about being older than them.

I fixed a plate with a slice of pizza and several carrot sticks, along with ranch for dipping and carried it down the hall to Ellie’s room. Peeking around the door, I found her lying on her belly across the bed, feet kicked up in the air behind her as she concentrated on the picture she was drawing. Moana played on the television.

“Hey, Boo. Are you hungry? I have pizza.”

Her eyes met mine and she smiled. Seeing her happy never failed to give me a thrill. After spending a year without many, I’d learned to cherish each and every one of her smiles. “Thanks, Daddy.” She wriggled up on the bed as I walked into her room and sat down next to her. She handed me the picture she’d been working on. “This is for you. It’s you and me, and Hannah and her daddy with all the apples we picked at the orchard.”

“I see that. Thank you very much.” I looked over the drawing. She’d done a nice job of coloring in the hair and clothes to match our figures, but it was the big grins on each of our faces that stood out the most to me. I cleared a lump in my throat. “Are you sure you don’t want to hang out with me and my friends?” I asked as she picked up her pizza and took a bite.

Ellie shook her head as she chewed and swallowed. “No thank you. Moana is way more fun than football. Besides, I want to draw another picture to surprise Hannah. She’s having fun with her nana and papaw, but I know she misses her daddy. Do you think a picture might make her feel better?”

“I think she’ll feel better knowing she has such a thoughtful friend,” I answered, kissing her on the top of her head. Her hair was still damp from her bath and smelled like her strawberry shampoo. “Okay, you eat your dinner and then work on Hannah’s surprise before bed.”

I carried the picture she’d given me back to the kitchen and hung it in a place of honor on the front of the fridge, a reminder of the wonderful day we’d shared with River and Hannah. I was proud of Ellie for caring about her friend and trying to find a way to make Hannah feel better while River was away. But if I was being honest, Hannah wasn’t the only one who’d been missing him. My face heated with embarrassment at the memory of the last time I’d seen him. River had been nothing but nice to me and my daughter and in turn, I’d acted like a complete jackass.

The past year, I’d felt as if I was living under a constant dark cloud. Tension at work, worry about Ellie, and my own grief over my failed marriage had consumed my every waking thought. The people I’d worked with for years suddenly felt like strangers, and with no other family besides my daughter, I’d had no one to talk to. Of course, I’d met with a therapist, which had helped, but it wasn’t the same as talking to a friend.

Then, seemingly out of the blue, River had appeared. This incredibly kind and caring man, and he offered to be my friend. I was still surprised at how much I’d told him. Perhaps it was the gentleness he’d shown Ellie, or maybe it was because we were both single fathers, but something about River Adams made me feel safe, like I could trust him.

Once I’d started talking, it was if I couldn’t stop and before I knew it, the entire story had poured out of me, unburdening my soul. There’d been no judgement in his blue eyes, only compassion and sympathy for what I’d been through. I’d expected to feel embarrassed for having dumped all my problems out in the open like that, but instead, I’d felt lighter. I’d finally felt relieved of some of the immense weight I’d been carrying around.

It surprised me how quickly he’d become such an important part of my life—he’d only been gone two days, but it felt like the longest two days I could ever remember. I found myself thinking about him at random times throughout the day, driving past his office while I was out on patrol, and looking for him whenever I ran to the diner to pick up a lunch order for everyone at the station. I missed seeing him at the school each afternoon, listening to his funny stories about the patients he’d cared for that day, hearing his laugh.

River and Hannah had kind of taken it upon themselves to be Ellie’s and my personal tour guides. So far, we’d gone hiking, explored an old lighthouse together, flown kites, and even fished off the small dock behind their house. However, it was more than simply having fun things to do. I missed having my friend around.

I missed River.

I missed his bright smile and the way the sunlight glinted off his golden hair. I missed the way he seemed to know exactly what I was thinking without me having to say a word and the way he could make my day better with just a single look. Being around River was like standing in the sun after a year of nothing but torrential rain.

I’d had other friends throughout the years, guys on the force or the husbands of Connie’s friends. We’d gotten together for cookouts or to watch a game and occasionally, our wives would drag us out for a double date night, but that was it. Even Mike and Ben, as good of friends as we’d become, we each had our own separate lives that kept us busy outside of work most days.

But with River, it was different. It was more. There was inexplicable connection between us that had been there since the beginning. He was the one I wanted to talk to if I was having a bad day and he was also the first person I wanted to share any good news with. I had no idea what any of it meant. I only knew that I felt closer to him than anyone else in the world except for my daughter. The four of us had become sort of inseparable which was why I’d taken it so hard when I found out River had to go out of town.

Although, I knew that wasn’t quite true. My response to his news had been a knee jerk reaction to my own abandonment issues. Only, River was the last person who deserved the cold shoulder. He was honest and kind, and the most caring person I’d ever met. He certainly didn’t deserve to take the brunt of my attitude, nor did he deserve any of the fallout for the scars Connie had left behind. All I knew was that Ellie and I were happier since he and Hannah had come into our lives, and I couldn’t wait for him to get back home. Of course, I wouldn’t really blame him if he never wanted to see me again.

Frustrated, I grabbed a few slices of pizza out of the box and stomped into the living room. Mike and Ben were lounging on the couch with their feet up on the coffee table. When I walked in, Mike glanced at me then back at the TV. “What’s Little Bit up to?” He’d given Ellie the nickname the first time they’d met, after she’d whispered to me that she thought he was a giant. I’d assured her that I had thought the same thing the first time I saw him. Mike had found the whole thing hilarious and had since taken to calling her Little Bit.

“Watching a movie and drawing a picture for her friend.” I settled back in my recliner and took a bite of pizza. It had already turned cold and had as much flavor as a piece of cardboard. That was the only thing about New York City I truly missed. The pizza. I tossed it aside with a huff and grabbed a bottle of beer off the table. I could feel Ben and Mike sneaking curious glances at me as I stared at the TV screen, trying to get into the game, but my mind was too distracted to focus.

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