Page 34 of Level Up

“Oh?” I asked. “What happened?”

“Well, Everly, the TA, was there, and so was Professor Sinclair. Something happened between them, I think. There was some secret touching or something. I’m not a hundred percent sure on the deets, but whatever happened spooked the professor because he had a pretty sudden exit.”

“Ooookay, that really doesn’t tell me anything.”

“I didn’t say I knew all the tea,” Maddy said with a shrug. “I just think something’s going on.”

“Did you guys pick up a lot of trash?”

“About twenty-five bags’ worth.”

“Good,” I said, sipping the coffee. There were notes of vanilla and lavender, with a dash of cinnamon. Shit was heaven in a cup.

“I think I want to set something up there. A protest to try and stop the drilling project… Why didn’t you come? Were you fooling around with your new boy toy slash roomie?”

“No, he was at practice.”

“Ah, so if he wasn’t, you two would be fooling around?” She crossed her arms, covering the FU letters on her purple-and-gold shirt.

“…Maybe.”

“Mhmm,” Maddy said. “We’re circling back to that, but first, what do you think about a Beacon’s Bay protest on the beach?”

My stomach twisted like a pretzel. “I’m not good with open bodies of water. I can maybe help you organize it, but I don’t think I can show up.” Even talking about it started making my palms sweat, my chest tighten.

I sucked in a deep breath. I tried to focus on the firm and solid ground underneath my feet. Therapy had given me the tools to deal with the pain of losing my dad and the survivor’s guilt that came with it, but I still wasn’t fully healed from it.

“You okay? You’re a little pale there.”

“I’m…” The world started to spin. I tasted salt water in my mouth. Could hear lightning clapping in the far distance. Up and down. Up and down. The salt burned my eyes. Or was that the tears?

All torture I imagined my dad experiencing.

“Jesus, what happened?” Maddy shifted to my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

That was all I needed to crack open like an egg dropped from a table.

I broke down and told Maddy what happened to me. For the second time that week, I found myself retelling my story. By the time I finished, it felt cathartic. Like every time I spoke about it, I inched one step closer to fully dealing with it. Maddy looked completely shocked. She wiped away tears of her own. She shook her head, left speechless. I leaned my head on her shoulder, and we sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It feels better talking about it.” I picked myself up, tried to stop my bottom lip from quivering. Things were okay. I was okay. Everything was okay.

“Forget about the beach protest. We can do something else.”

I shook my head, placing both hands down into the grass. It was the grounding force I needed. “No, after talking about it with you, I think I want to try it. I think it’s a good idea. I’ll just help put it together, but I don’t think I can show.”

Her warm brown eyes were full of concern. She brushed a strand of strawberry-pink hair from her face. “I never want to put you in a position where you’re scared or uncomfortable.”

“Sometimes you have to be put in those positions to grow. Like how a forest comes back stronger after a fire tears it down.”

“That’s so true.” Maddy squeezed my hand in hers. “You’re so strong. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“Thank you. Seriously.”

“I love you,” she said, wrapping me up in another tight hug.

“Love you too, girlie.”

---