Page 83 of Curvy Nerdy Omega

“Come on sweetheart, let me in. I need to see you. I need to make sure you’re okay.”

How was I supposed to be okay? I hadn’t been forgotten, but it still felt like I was abandoned.

There were many things I could forgive, but this? Liam knew better than anyone how much I hated the fact that I couldn’t remember names or faces to save my life, so why had he used it to his advantage?

An alpha doesn’t know how to love the way we do. They need power so they refuse to give us what we need.

I would never forget the way he made me feel like I was everything…or the way he made me feel like I was nothing.

We have to make them scared – make them afraid to lose us or we’ll never survive.

I looked up at the camera hidden in the corner of my room behind a hammock full of plushies. The thing had a perfect view of my whole room including the window. Even the inside of my closet. If the door was open.

“Lucy, you have ten seconds to open this door.”

Come on, Cas. Show me just how scared you are.

They only ever react to the fear of loss.

Turning on my heel, I headed toward my nightstand and yanked the drawer open. Inside was my meds, my vitamins, a loaded gun and a knife.

“Let’s make one thing very clear, Lucy. I am not Liam. He is the one who’s waited so fucking patiently all these years. Not me.”

I contemplated my options as Cas rattled the doorknob hard enough I could hear the wood creak in protest. Then I reached in, wrapping my fingers around the hilt of my two-inch blade. It wouldn’t be easy to kill someone with this, but it was sharp.

They are alphas. Hunters. Predators. But even wolves bleed like the rest of us.

“Lucy…do you really think I let him control my life because I don’t know how to tell him no? You think I couldn’t make him stop if I wanted to? I let him get away with all his psychotic bullshit because I need it just as badly as he does.”

I glanced back at the door to see it shaking and shuddering under the force of Cas’s panic and fear. He was doing so well. I truly believed he was terrified to lose me.

“You can’t just cut me out of your life like this.” Cas slammed his fist into the door. “My life revolves around you now. If you cut me out, then what the fuck is my purpose? Why do I even exist if you won’t let me do what I was put on this godforsaken planet to do?”

“Then what about Liam?”

“What about him? He needs you even more than I do. He needs me to love you just as much as he does because we don’t know how to live any other way.”

Such a pretty sentiment, but it wasn’t enough.

“Lucy, open this fucking door before I break it down.”

Cas was losing his mind from the sound of it, making good on his promise to break down my stupid door, but he wasn’t the one I wanted fighting so hard to see me.

Was Liam still watching?

I looked up at the camera and made sure they could both see the knife in my hand.

Then I crossed my room and stepped into my closet, gently closing the door behind me.

Darkness descended. No more sunshine. No more rain.

There wasn’t a single camera inside the closet from what I remembered since the one in my room was angled to see inside it when the door was open.

I looked up at the ceiling and studied the constellations I’d painted in here when we’d first moved in…such a sparkly gold, even in the dark.

Love is rich with both honey and venom. I’d always wondered what that Latin saying was supposed to mean and now I knew.

I wanted them both to suffer even if it was just for a little bit. I wanted them to understand just a fraction of what I was feeling. They needed to know what it felt like to be afraid they might be abandoned.

---