Page 82 of Curvy Nerdy Omega

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my face in my knees so they couldn’t see me even through the camera. They didn’t deserve to see anything, but this was the best I could do right now.

“Come on. Open the door, sweetheart.”

Just leave me alone. I need to figure out what I’m going to do.

“Open the fucking door, Lucy.” That growl I loved so much was threatening me now and then his tone shifted like he realized he might have made a mistake. “Come on. I’m begging you.”

Then beg. Get on your knees Cas, and promise me you didn’t know anything. Beg and plead for my forgiveness.

“Jesus fucking Christ, just say something. Anything. Let me know you’re alive.”

He could still see me through the camera so saying something simply because he wanted me to served no purpose other than to cater to his needs, not mine.

“Lucy, please. I know you’re in there.”

Fine. If he was going to be this fucking annoying, then I should at least use it to my advantage.

I slowly got to my feet and walked over to the door, knowing he could hear every footstep.

“Did you know?”

He didn’t immediately respond and that was enough of an answer, but I wanted to hear whatever bullshit excuse he was going to come up with.

“I didn’t know who you were until you got sick.”

At least he didn’t try to lie to me.

“But you’ve known since then.”

The silence stretched and I stared blankly at my door, knowing he was only a few inches away. All I had to do was unlock it and he’d give me everything I could possibly need or want.

But it was all a lie.

He needed me just as badly or he wouldn’t be here pleading with me to let him in.

Cas sighed and the door shuddered when something thumped against it. It was easy to imagine him dropping his head against it, hands on the door like he could feel me through the wood, right on the other side.

“Liam told me who you were that night because I didn’t understand why he was acting so fucking weird, but it wasn’t any of my business because you were never supposed to be mine.”

No wonder he’s been so insecure about our relationship. Cas knew who I was and he’d convinced himself I could never want him when I learned who Liam was.

“Neither of us knew who you were before you came to Valor Enterprises to help with Gideon’s case,” Cas tried to explain. “But he’s spent the last fifteen years searching for you.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the rage start to shift. Yeah, I was still furious, but underneath that was the overwhelming grief I’ve been holding onto for all these years – endless sorrow over being forgotten…cast aside like a nostalgic, childhood toy.

Except he’s been looking for me this whole time.

The boy I’ve never been able to forget felt the same way I did. He never broke his promise…so why would he keep it from me after realizing who I was?

“I hate you,” I whispered, knowing it wasn’t fair…but I didn’t care. “You should have told me.”

“How could I possibly do that when I wasn’t there, making childhood memories with the two of you?” Cas slammed his hand into the door and for the first time, I didn’t flinch. “I’m always stuck between the both of you, constantly wishing this was something I could be a part of, but I can’t. I’m just some random guy, so what right do I have?”

“You said you love me! If that’s true, you would have told me!” I slapped the door, pissed he was one of the only alphas in the world who cared about the people he loved and their emotions more than his own. “I can’t even remember what he used to look like. Do you have any idea how stupid I feel right now? I know I’m bad with names, but I would have remembered Valor. I’m not that bad…I would have remembered.”

“Lucy…please.”

“I would have remembered a name like Valor…right? How could I have forgotten? How? Am I really that stupid? I know I would never be able to recognize his face, but that name…”

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