Liam and Cas were alphas.
They were going to make excuses for their selfish choices while I kept apologizing for being alive. That was my reality.
How could I ever forget that?
I couldn’t believe how oblivious I’ve been because when I took some time to think about it, all this made too much sense.
And yet…
Sliding my hand up my neck where all those spider lilies were inked into my skin, the only thing I could think about was I didn’t need to get another one this year.
A sharp laugh escaped me.
It wasn’t really funny but I couldn’t stop laughing. My whole body shook as I tried to keep the humorless sound deep inside where it belonged, but I couldn’t bury it down fair enough. The hysterical laughter filled the room and I covered my face with my hands to muffle the sound.
How could I have possibly forgotten?
CHAPTER 30
Lucy
The seeds my father had planted dwelled deep inside me and I’d truly thought that all I had to do was keep my distance from alphas so I wouldn’t turn out just like him. It would be so easy because I was defective.
No one wanted me.
Getting over the fact that I’d never be a real omega was somehow easier than accepting I’ve done everything in my power to walk a different path from the one my father took but somehow I still ended up at the same fucking destination.
I had to laugh because otherwise I would cry.
The seeds had sprouted so long ago I never realized the tree he’d planted was actually holding me together this whole time – so entangled with my flesh I didn’t even notice.
I’ve always been damned.
Maybe I should have eaten all the fruit of the dead I could find, because then at least it would feel like I’ve earned this. Feasting on forbidden fruit would have explained why the taste of blood always grounded me.
But I’d always kept my hands to myself and forced myself to make different, better choices.
I couldn’t stop laughing because it was all so stupid. I was stupid.
And just like that, all my pain turned into violence.
Grabbing one of the trays, I threw it across the room with an agonized scream that shocked even me. I grabbed another tray, and then another. Throwing them at the camera Liam had Cas put in my room the day we were hired.
Diamonds and gold scattered across my room like childish junk as I laughed and laughed.
“Lucy?”
I ignored Cas and emptied out my drawer until every single piece of my life that I’ve ever treasured was spread across my room like the trash it was. Then I closed it as softly as I could so it didn’t make a single sound.
Like it had never existed.
“Lucy, I need you to answer me.”
But you belong to me. Why should I do anything to make you feel better right now? Didn’t you promise to give me whatever I wanted? Well, right now I want your silence.
“Why is the door locked? Can you please answer me before I freak the fuck out?”
He really did sound like he was going to panic.