Page 55 of Love and Other Goals

I slip the card under his windshield wiper at the soccer complex and drive to the gas station to fill up my car. I decide it’s worth the bathroom stop halfway to take a slushie on the road. I’m sealing the lid on tight when I hear a familiar voice.

“Lana?” Aaron says as he walks toward me. “I thought that was your car out there.”

“Hey Aaron,” I say as I fumble with the straw, trying to get the wrapper off. I bang it too hard and the bottom crumples, so I throw it away and get a new one. Aaron leans his hip against the counter next to me, making me feel even more flustered. Come on, brain. You’ve seen Aaron enough times over the past two months that you should be capable of acting like a normal human being.

“How ya been?” he asks. I look up from my slushie cup and flinch at how close we are to each other. Aaron’s arms are crossed, but his upper body is leaning in toward me. My stupid brain chooses to remind me how thrilled I would have been about this close proximity a few months ago, doing nothing to calm down all of my flustered-ness.

But I’m not thrilled now. I take a step backwards and hold my giant slushie cup as a guard between us before answering. “Really good. Enjoying the fall. Still anxiously waiting to hear if I’ve been accepted to UC Davis. But I’m heading home to KC right now to see my family, so that’s good.” I take a sip of my slushie since my mouth is suddenly a desert.

“Oh, that’s fun,” Aaron replies. “Any specific plans? Or just hanging out with your parents and Olivia, Carter, and Dean?”

I shouldn’t be surprised by him remembering my siblings’ names, considering how much we used to talk. But I still am. “Yeah, it’s Olivia’s homecoming weekend, so I’ll get to see her all dressed up. What about you? Anything fun going on?”

Aaron uncrosses his arms and leans one hand on the counter next to me, the other dropping to his pocket. “Just the usual. Keeping an eye on things at the house party tonight.”

I nod. “Yeah, I know how that goes.” Because I do—we certainly have a mutual understanding of Greek Life.

“Some of the guys are going to the soccer game tomorrow, but I probably won’t,” Aaron continues, eyes flickering back and forth between mine. “So, anything else…different or new in life?”

I chew on the inside of my lip and shake my head slowly. “Not really. Yeah no, same stuff with class, AOPi, tutoring, Arrow stuff.” I pause. “Still dating Mateo, so, ya know, nothing new.”

Aaron flinches at the mention of Mateo but quickly recovers a neutral face. I raise my slushie cup like it’s the international sign for “I’m going to leave now.” Aaron stands upright and says, “Yeah, I should let you hit the road, I guess. Um, I’ll walk you out to your car.”

“Did you come in to buy something though?” I ask, looking around as I pay for my slushie.

“Oh, yeah, I did, but I don’t mind. I’ll walk you out and then come back,” he says, gesturing toward the door. He pushes it open so I can walk out, following me to my car. I open the door and deposit my slushie cup inside, then stand up to awkwardly wave and say bye.

“Have a good weekend in KC, Lana. Drive safe,” he tells me before backing away as I shut myself in the car. I need to pick a playlist for the ride home but don’t want to stay here lingering in front of the gas station, so I drive down the street and pull off in another parking lot to pull up my phone.

First, I send a distress signal to the Beef group chat.

Just ran into Aaron while getting a slushie

Tried to make small talk but he visibly flinched when I said Mateo’s name

Teegan

When will I feel normal and not awkward or guilty around him?

Amaya

Stop it

No feeling guilty. You did nothing wrong

I know but…

Amaya

Do we need to pull the mantras out again?

Teegan

Give her a break, May. Lana’s a nice person and she used to like him and he’s clearly still obsessed with her, so of course she feels bad that he’s so sad

Yeah, not helping Teegs

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