Page 148 of Chaos

I look into her glistening eyes and nod.

“Jax, I love you so much it hurts, in the best possible way. I meant everything I said last night. You are home now. We are your family and we fight this together.”

Her hands find my cheeks and she wipes away a tear I didn’t even know was falling.

“Fight for us, baby. Let me in. Please let me help you. I want to. I need you with me. Maeve needs her daddy.”

I suck in a breath. Brody’s words echo doubt in my mind, yet again.

She pulls back and tilts her head.

“Jax, what?”

“Is she mine? You promise she is? I mean, I’ll love her either way. She will be my daughter no matter what, but?—”

Her brows furrow as she looks at me, tears forming in her own eyes making my heart race. I want Maeve to be mine more than anything.

“There is absolutely no doubt Maeve is your daughter, Jax. I swear on my life. What made you ask that?”

The seriousness on her face says she isn’t lying. Why did I even doubt her?

“Brody, said?—”

“She sure as hell isn’t Brody’s. Not even mathematically possible. I didn’t sleep with him for three months before the wedding. There’s no way.”

As she sniffles, I reach out and tightly grip her hand.

Fuck, I’ve hurt her again.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have even asked.”

With a gentle shake of her head, she reassures me by squeezing my fingers.

“No. I bet that killed you hearing him say that. That isn’t fair.” Her tone is laced with anger.

It did. Amongst everything, that was a spear to the heart.

“We can pick our baby girl up from Lara’s later. I bet she’d love a daddy cuddle.”

A smile creeps up on my lips, just thinking about having my little princess in my arms again.

“I’d like that. I love her, Sof. It killed me not seeing her every day.”

“Well now, you're home, Jax. No more of that.”

For how long though? Before I fuck it all up again.

A moment of silence passes. I don’t know what to say. I’m scared I’ll get it wrong. I’ll lose her again.

Her thumb moves rhythmically over my knuckle. “I forgive you, Jax. The past is in the past. We move on, together.”

As I look into her eyes, I believe her.

“I want to be here, Sof. This was never about wanting to leave you two, not like that.”

Her lips purse as she stares up at me. “Then tell me, what was it about? How long have you felt like this?”

“Since Kai’s death.” Fuck. Even saying his name, all I can think of is finding his body in the rubble. That guilt takes over, I can’t shake it.

---