Page 33 of King of Players

“Yes, baby.” Kaira threw her head back, exposing her long and slender neck. I grazed her skin before sinking my teeth there. Without warning, I picked her up off the counter and took her into the living room. I set her down on the couch there and threw her legs up over my shoulders.

Kaira gasped, the new position offering her a better angle.

With her hair splayed out underneath her, and her tanned skin glistening underneath the lighting, she was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. She made a low, impatient noise in the back of her throat and wriggled her hips. I chuckled and bent down to capture her lips with mine. When she bit down on my lower lip, my mouth parted, allowing her tongue to dart in.

We began a sensual battle for dominance as I eased in and out of her, at a slow and steady pace. All I could hear was her skin slapping against mine, and the sound of her heavy, uneven breathing.

My heart was racing, eager to burst out of my chest.

Eventually, Kaira came undone again, chanting my name over and over under her breath until she prompted my own release.

Spots danced in my field of vision, and my lungs burned.

When I caught my breath, Kaira had a dreamy expression on her face, her hair tousled, and her eyes soft. Carefully, I swept her into my arms, in spite of her giggled protests and carried her into the bedroom. After I set her down on the mattress, I climbed in and faced her.

We stared at each other for a while before she flipped onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

thirteen

Disarray

Kaira

Thankfully, Chad and I were on the same page about him not waking up here in the morning. After he left, I knew there was no way I was going to sleep. Earning myself an early start, I made some more coffee, grabbed my laptop, and walked out onto the terrace, responding to work emails while I let the caffeine slowly saturate my system, kick-starting every cell.

Yes, I was well aware that overwhelming myself with duties when it wasn’t even seven o’clock yet was a defense mechanism. Something to take my mind off of the chaos that could have easily ravaged my mind if I were to let it. Why had I slept with Chad again? I had always prided myself in my sensibility. That was clearly in the past.

On the way to work, I contemplated the idea that had imposed itself on me since I had been in the shower. As I stepped into my office, my mind was made up. I sat down behind my desk and picked up my phone, texting Marvin that I wanted to see him tonight.

And so it was.

At nine o’clock, I marched into my therapist’s office, tossing my purse onto a chair. “I’m not comfortable with it. Any of it,” I blurted out, aware of how neurotic I must have appeared.

Calmly leaning back in his seat, Marvin placed one leg over the other. “And that would be…”

“Chad. The sex. The whole thing.”

“Already? No more thrill?”

Practically flopping down in the armchair in front of him, I sharply exhaled. “Too much thrill!” I fidgeted, one second pretending to fix my hair and the next, wiping away an imaginary stray lipstick smudge from the corner of my mouth. “He makes me nervous. I don’t like making decisions when I’m nervous. They’re usually the wrong ones.” Sensing the shake that was starting to appear in my voice, I leaned forward and reached for the glass of water on the table between us.

Marvin’s eyes watched me take a long, deliberate sip, no doubt expertly evaluating every twitch of every muscle. He finally tilted his head, as if casually, and said, “By decisions… you do mean sex, right?”

My eyes nearly shot fire, so I repeatedly blinked as I put down the glass. “Yes, Marvin. Yes, the sex. The cheap attitude towards it. The nonchalant, spur-of-the-moment… I don’t like it.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“I—I mean, I like it.” I could feel the blood bubble up in my chest and my stomach tie to knots. Gesturing with my hands, I explained, “I like it while in the act, you see? But the minute it’s over, I’m overcome by shame and self-blame. I’m twenty-nine, dammit, Marvin! I didn’t even do this sort of thing in college!” I paused. “What is this, an early mid-life crisis?”

He coolly chuckled, shaking his head. “I highly doubt that, Kaira.” Looking into my eyes, he seemed to savor the moment of silence. “Don’t you think it’s easier to assume that you’re just catching up on fun you missed out on in your teen years?”

Taken aback by his suggestion, I automatically feared the worst. This was a midlife crisis, in one way or another. “How’s that different?”

“Before you jump to conclusions.” He raised a hand. “Look, Kaira. I’ve seen you on and off at different stages of your life and I know that you’re never one to do something uncalculated—” I interrupted him with a scoff, shaking my head. He pointed a finger. “Now, that’s the teenager in you.”

“Your point being?”

“You’re clearly crossing a threshold to some sort of transformation. Perhaps this Chad guy was the trigger. Or your grandmother’s passing. Either way, I do believe it’s healthy.”

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