Page 57 of All Because I Found You

“Have you thought about renting out the space again? It’s an additional income with little to no overhead.”

“Did Raelyn get to you?”

“I haven’t seen the lass.”

“She’s mentioned it a few times now. She thinks it could be a prime venue for weddings and other events. I guess it makes sense. We don’t use it anymore. Even if we do expand the crops in the area, we have more than enough space in the other barns for equipment and everything else we’ll need. I think she wants it to be an exclusive deal with her. She’ll bring the clients in, but only if she’s the planner to offer the space.”

“Smart. I like the way she thinks.” He did too. “I also think we have nothing to lose and everything to gain by making the deal. I say go for it. We can use the extra funds to buy new equipment and pay for more seed.”

“Unfortunately, the last payment came in the way of giant-sized teddy bears, a bike, and one too many baskets.” Baskets that were still unopened, and then there was George who had become a permanent fixture in his living room.

“If I’m not mistaken, that was your fault.”

Ryder took a swig of his beer. “Donate the money does not mean enter every raffle they have.”

Gene barked out a loud, boisterous laugh. “She got you good on that.”

“Too good. Still, it was eighty-five hundred dollars from one wedding.”

Gene whistled. “I think this is a no brainer.”

“Raelyn will be thrilled. I’m going to let her sweat it out a little longer, though. But you’re right. We can use that money to help fund the expansion.”

“There’s another farm up for sale a town over. I think it would be a good investment. We could use the land to grow pumpkins and get in on that you pick rage that’s taken over. We could be a one stop shop in the fall. Pumpkin picking, farm stand, and even get some of those wood cut outs that the kids can take pictures in. Maybe a hayride. I know ye and yer dad had dreamed of something like this. I think it’s an investment worth taking. And wit the barn we need hundred events, and we’d pay the place off. Do twenty a year, and the property is paid off in five.”

Blood rushed into Ryder’s ear at the onslaught of memories. He and Dad sitting around the kitchen table, pouring over blueprints Ryder drew up about the ultimate fall experience at their farm. Ryder had been so adamant about expanding, about providing the people with what they wanted but didn’t know. After Dad died, he watched the pumpkin business grow and prosper through news articles and segments. So many farmers were doing what he had dreamed about. But instead of using that as fuel to finally do it himself, he allowed it to remind him of all that he lost. The dreams didn’t feel so big anymore. Exciting. Not when his family wasn’t around to see it.

A part of him wanted to shut Gene down, but there was a tiny sliver, deep in the back of his mind, that was still the excited seventeen-year-old kid with dreams and a plan. He wanted to do this for him. “Let’s do it.”

“You sure?”

“I am.” And it wasn’t just for the seventeen-year-old inside him; it was for the man he was now. If his argument with Raelyn taught him anything, it was that it was time to at least try. He knew he couldn’t fix himself overnight and it was going to take years to work through all the issues that he’d been ignoring for a decade, but he couldn’t keep living in the dark. Not if he wanted to keep her in his life. He needed to at least try.

“I’ll call the realtor first thing tomorrow. Set up a tour of the property. Make sure it’s not a money pit.”

“Probably a good idea.”

“The change of heart wouldn’t have to do with a certain wedding planner, would it?”

Ryder wasn’t sure. He’d been thinking about expansion for a while, but he couldn’t deny since Raelyn showed up in his life, he felt different. More alive. Ready to stop living in the past and start looking toward the future.

He’d gone so long being stagnant, and he thought he was content. But when Raelyn came into his life, he realized content wasn’t a way to live. It was a holding cell, keeping him locked in the same routine, the same monotonous life. Like a wrecking ball, she knocked down his walls, freeing him from a life he’d been stuck in. He still held guilt. It would always be a part of him, but he no longer felt the need to punish himself by staying in the past. It was time to move forward.

“Aye. Ye happy?”

Ryder took a second milling over Gene’s question. “I think I am. For the first time in a very long time, I think I am. Part of me feels guilty for it though.”

“Ye need to stop that. Your parents wouldn’t want that for you. From the minute you were born, the only thing they cared about was your happiness. Do ye know yer Da once drove all over the island trying to find you an Xbox.

Ryder remembered that Christmas like it was yesterday. There’d been a million presents, and he tore through them, hoping and waiting to finally see the packaging for an Xbox. Then when all the presents were opened, there was no Xbox. Then Dad pointed to the spot behind the chair. You forgot one, he had said. Behind the chair in silver and red paper was a single box. He’d ripped into it so quickly, and staring back at him was an Xbox.

“How do you know about that?”

“I was with him. Ye see, I was your da’s wingman, and he was mine. We were on a mission, and we always completed our missions. Before your Ma it was picking up girls at the bars then after it was helping him paint walls, install cabinets, build cribs. And after you, it was protecting you, keeping you safe, and making you happy. Heaven knows I’ve tried over the years, but I never could give you back what you lost. I tried to be enough.”

Gene’s words reached into Ryder’s chest and squeezed. He had no idea the man had felt this way. No idea he had put so much pressure on his own plate. “Gene, you’ve kept me sane, kept me going. You’ve been more than enough. More than I’ve deserved. I’m here today because you never gave up on me. No matter how closed off I got, you continued to show up. Continued to be there for me even if you just sat here in silence. So don’t ever think you weren’t enough. I’m just sorry that I let myself stay in the dark for so long.”

“Ye blamed yeself, and that’s a really dark place for anyone.”

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