Page 52 of Honor Code

What was wrong with him? He’d had the woman he wanted more than anything in his arms, was seconds away from claiming her—and he’d frozen. Totally choked.

He’d seen the hurt in her eyes, the confusion. Damn, he felt like a jerk. Now she’d think he wasn’t interested or she’d done something wrong, when in fact, it was he who had the problem.

He couldn’t get over the feeling that she was too good for him. It was messed up. He was messed up. But after what she’d been through with that dickhead of an ex-boyfriend, he couldn’t bring her into his world. His world was nothing but guilt and misery and frustration. Even with his new job at Blackthorn Security, he was still surrounded by the kind of life she despised.

Danger, violence, death.

He couldn’t promise her anything. Nothing normal, anyway. Not security, not a stable income, not even a boyfriend who’d be around, because he wouldn’t most of the time.

Ellie deserved more. So why did it hurt so goddamn much?

Hell, he wanted to devour her, consume her, show her how love should be. How a man should be. He wanted to eradicate her fear and replace it with passion. The need in her gaze had been so obvious, so addictive. Yet he’d turned her down.

What a moron! And so soon after he’d told himself he’d never let her go. Well, he hadn’t. He’d pushed her away.

And now, in true Phoenix style, he was going to beat himself up about it. He turned to check she was okay, only to find her walking quietly behind him, eyes downcast, thoughts a million miles away. She was probably questioning what she’d ever seen in him—and he didn’t blame her one little bit.

“Let’s get beyond those dunes, where we’ll be out of sight.”

She didn’t reply.

They walked across the long, wide beach strewn with driftwood and sea wrack. The sand was remarkably white and in the daytime would be almost blinding. Behind the beach were a series of undulating dunes, each topped with sea oats and marram grass swaying gently in the evening breeze. The dunes formed a natural barrier that protected the inner parts of the island, and it would also give them cover.

He didn’t kid himself. They weren’t home free. Those men meant business, and they’d be back. It was only a matter of time. The only hope he and Ellie had was reaching a ranger station and calling for assistance. They’d probably have to spend the night on the island, as no rescue boats would be launched until the morning. Hopefully, the guys pursuing them also wouldn’t make it to the island until daylight. That way they’d have a good shot at being gone before trouble arrived.

They climbed the dunes, Ellie stumbling along next to him, her mouth set in a grim line. He offered her his hand, but she shook her head. “I’m okay.”

They continued in silence, the squawking cries of seabirds filling the air. Every now and then he sensed her gaze on him, but she didn’t speak, and he didn’t know what to say to make it right. How could he tell her how much he cared? That he’d die before he let anything happen to her? That he admired her more than any other woman he’d ever met?

After his foolish behavior, would she even believe him?

Maybe it was for the best. If she thought he wasn’t interested, that he didn’t care, she wouldn’t develop any feelings for him, or any she already had, would die, if they hadn’t already. There was no space for someone like her in his head, not beside his dead SEAL buddies and the guilt surrounding all of them.

They crested the dunes then slunk down the other side, their feet digging into the soft sand. Ellie stumbled, and he grabbed her arm, catching her before she fell. Her hands flew out, making contact with his bare chest. Her eyes locked on his, cautious, anxious. Hell, the last thing he wanted was her to be anxious. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Um, thanks.”

He held her for a moment, savoring the feel of her. Her clothes had almost dried, but her hair was wild and disheveled, making him think of a forest nymph. Those huge tiger eyes were glowing softly in the dying light, filled with hopes and dreams he’d never discover. A physical pain hit him in the gut, and he winced.

Immediately, she frowned in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” His voice was gruff, making her flinch.

She backed away from him and kept going down the dune, all practicality now, avoiding his gaze. They reached the bottom of the dune. The terrain now transitioned into a dense, lush coastal scrub thick with palmetto palms and twisted, gnarled trees that looked like they had weathered many storms.

A wooden sign, partially hidden by encroaching vegetation said, Ranger Station.

“That’s it.” He pointed to the sign.

She heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.”

He peered through the brush. “Looks like some sort of trail.”

Ellie nodded. “How far do you think it is?”

“Hard to say, but at least we know we’re on the right track.”

She nodded.

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