Page 27 of The Two Halves of My Heart

Chapter 8

Grace Fifteen Years Old

The summer meant two things now. A birthday cake at the family dinner with Oliver and Maddison and weeks of hoping the rain would disappear and leave us in peace. But the end of summer would signify another change with the onset of another school year.

Oliver was doing his A-Level exams, and in my mind, that was the beginning of the end. After his exams, he’d be leaving to go to University—away from me, and away from Maddison.

The fears that had started to eat away at my insides two summers ago only took root and devoured more of my hope and strength with every month that passed. Oliver had gone to the sixth form, and the separation had jammed another wedge between us all. Maddison didn’t seem to notice because he was too busy being the centre of attention for the rest of our school year, especially in all the girls’ eyes. He was a star—on the sports field and in the halls at school. And he wasn’t happy unless he was winning at everything, and that included me.

Film invites turned to date invites or persuasive texts to go with him to parties. He demanded more and more of my time and refused when he could, anything that included his brother. I felt like they were tearing me in two. Of course, Oliver never pulled me in his direction. He’d never do that. He was stoic and kept out of the way of his brother like they’d had some secret agreement, which didn’t include me.

It was like our bubble had completely collapsed despite my feeble attempts at keeping it inflated.

Maddison saw Oliver leaving as a personal victory, over what, I didn’t know, but all I could see was our friendships falling apart and with it, my whole world felt like it was crumbling. I’d invested all my energy in keeping our promise alive—our friendship alive—and it still wasn’t enough. We all made the same vow that we’d never let anything get in the way of being best friends, but sometimes it felt like I was the only one who remembered it.

I’d agreed to meet Maddison for lunch. He’d taken to insisting we spend time together at school, at least when he felt like it. With Maddison, everything felt so critical. Do or die. Whereas Oliver was the calm between the two. Their personalities hadn’t changed but had grown more intense over the years. Maddison leant me his courage, but it was Oliver who offered me safe harbour, and in times of change and uncertainty, I needed both.

The bell sounded, and I filed out of art class towards the hall.

“Hey, Grace.” A boy I didn’t recognise came up to me and tried to block my path. I stopped and took a step around him. It might have looked rude, but I didn’t know this guy. However, it didn’t deter him.

“Wait up, what’s the matter, I just want to talk.”

“No, thank you,” I said politely, but with no room for misinterpretation. It wasn’t often people talked to me at school. Not beyond a handful of people I could call friends of a sort.

“Just give me a minute.” The guy put his hands out and rested them on my shoulders, physically stopping me from moving farther along. I finally looked up and stared daggers at him for laying a hand on me.

“Hey, jerk, get out of my way and take the hint.” But my comment only seemed to spur him on—his cocky smile not affected by my rebuff, until suddenly, he was no longer standing in front of me. His body flew out of my way as Mads grabbed him and hauled him from my sight.

Jeers, shouts, and chants all broke out around me as students came pouring around, smelling blood in the water. I was knocked from side to side as people vied for a better position around both of them. Maddison shoved the guy, and he stumbled back, but Mads followed up, shoving him again. His face was contorted with anger as he rained abuse down on the boy. Because right now, that’s what he looked like—a small boy cowering under Maddison’s rage. And watching, I couldn’t help but feel my heart thunder in my chest as a tingle of a sensation snaked around my stomach and infected my body.

This was my fault. I knew Mads was acting this way because the boy put his hands on me, and this was his way of defending me. The romantic part of my heart, buried somewhere underneath a mountain of confusing feelings towards both Oliver and Maddison, wanted to feel this—a surge of energy and triumph that Maddison’s feelings for me had driven him to this. Although, what did that mean my feelings were towards him, in return? I’d never had a boyfriend, and boys, apart from Mads and Oliver, stayed clear of me. I was old enough to know that feelings could be problematic, and I’d grown familiar with the idea that I loved them both in my own way—in different ways—but not enough to risk ruining our friendship.

The boy attempted to stand up to Mads, which didn’t work, and they ended up grappling, and I was sure I saw Mads land a punch.

“Hey, Maddison!”

Through all the commotion, I made out his voice as clear as day. Oliver dropped his bag at the edge of the hoard of students and pushed his way through to Mads. He grabbed him by the arms, wrenching him away from the boy. Mads fought Oliver to start with, turning his anger on him, before Oliver forced him to calm down, despite the obvious size difference.

My heart was in my mouth as I watched the fight carry on until everyone scattered like a shoal of fish that’d just sensed a predator. The deputy headteacher made an appearance and summoned both the Ray boys to follow him. Oliver looked towards me, seeking me out as I hung back. Without saying anything, he made sure I knew he’d take care of Maddison, nodding slightly and offering a tight smile. My heart stopped in my chest, freezing up as I stared at Oliver, desperate to believe this would be okay, while all Mads could do was scowl as he was marched off. He didn’t even glance in my direction.

I spent the rest of the day worrying my bottom lip to death, checking my phone every moment I could for messages from either of them.

Nothing. And neither of them were on the bus home.

“Grace?” Mum called as I burst through the door and dumped my bag before heading straight back out and over to see if they were home without answering her. Fear that Mads was in trouble hadn’t left me since watching him stomp off, despite Oliver being with him. Fighting at school wasn’t tolerated, and I didn’t want to think about what could happen to him. Because of me. I knew it wasn’t actually my fault, but I also knew that Maddison feeling overly protective of me had caused him to lash out at that boy.

My knuckles rapped frantically on the door, and a moment later, Vivien answered. She must have known I was a state because her usual carefree expression crashed to concern the moment she saw me. “What’s wrong?” she asked, ushering me inside and escorting me through to the living room.

“Have you heard from Oliver or Maddison?” My voice sounded panicked and jittery, and I looked down and tried to hide my hands that were vibrating with anxiety.

“Oh, boy, yes. I had the pleasure of collecting both of them just after lunch.” Her eyes drew together in a frown. “Don’t worry, honey. They are both grounded, and Maddison won’t be back to school for a week, but you don’t have to worry.”

“He’s been suspended?” I squeaked.

“Why don’t you go and speak to him yourself. I know he can be a handful but fighting at school is a new low.”

“Where’s Oliver?”

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