Page 104 of The Two Halves of My Heart

Chapter 33

Grace

Dear Oliver,

Firstly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for so many things, but mostly for pushing you away and not helping you when you lost Maddison right alongside me. Please forgive me.

Hopefully, this letter will go some way to explain the way I’ve felt these last months.

Now, I know I have no right to ask you to wait for me, but I’m going to anyway.

I love you. I’ve always loved you, but you know that already. That’s why you’ve never given up on me. And why you look to protect me whenever you can. My mum told me about my father, and that you carried that knowledge by yourself, protecting me again.

Since Maddison’s death, I’ve been stuck, trying to cope with all the emotions from his death, but also the others it dredged up with it.

Somewhere in all of this, I realised something else—I’m terrified of getting hurt again. That’s why I pushed you away. My heart is still in pieces, and I know you want to be the one to mend it. But I need to do that for myself.

I’ve been in love with you, Maddison, or both of you since I can remember. And for the first time, I need to protect my heart for me. It’s not strong enough to survive any more heartbreak or loss. And I want to put that right.

On Bob’s life, I promise that I will work at moving past the guilt that has plagued me and work at being the person you’ve always known I can be. But you have to give me the time to do it.

I’ll contact you when I’m ready, and then we can work at being friends like we always were.

Love Grace.

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