Page 20 of The Two Halves of My Heart

Even before the film ended, I couldn’t keep the yawns at bay, and I wished for nothing more than to go to bed and sleep through tomorrow.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Sure. Just tired.” I kept my eyes on the screen and hoped he would buy the excuse.

“I can go. We can watch the end another time?”

“No, it’s nearly over. Sorry I’ve not been much fun.” I shouldn’t have been miserable, but there was always tension when I was with Maddison or Oliver alone. Like having only two points of our triangular friendship upset our balance. I’d rather us all be able to get along together.

Oliver didn’t say anything else for the rest of the film, and there was a distinct awkwardness between us. It was the last thing I wanted. He was my best friend, along with Maddison. Without them, I’d be relegated to spending my days alone and avoiding people, which was my comfortable state. Making friends—having friends, wasn’t natural like it was for Maddison, and I preferred my own company. Alone in my room with my fantasy books, born from the made-up stories that Oliver and I had created when we were younger. Many of the girls had grown bored of my limited interactions and lukewarm enthusiasm for whatever they were into or wanted to do. Sometimes, I thought there was something wrong with me—that I wasn’t normal. But it was just that my normal was a little different to some. That was a really hard thought to cling to when falling asleep at night or trying to get through another day of school.

Maddison and Oliver were my normal.

“Are you busy at the weekend? If it’s not raining, we could go for a bike ride?”

“Sure. Will you ask Maddison?”

“Yes.”

“Great. I hope it doesn’t rain. We can go to our tree and see if any more Bobs are looking for a home.” The idea brought a genuine smile to my face and chased the grey of my thoughts away.

“It’s a plan. We’ll call on you Saturday morning then?”

I nod with an eagerness that I hadn't felt in a while and prayed for the sun.

Saturday morning took forever to arrive, but at least the sun played along and shone brightly. It was hot for early autumn, and the leaves were already turning to rust and gold.

I watched vigilantly from my window for Oliver and Maddison until they eventually showed—their bikes and backpacks with them. My bike was already out the front, and I’d packed a drink and snacks, together with a few plasters and antiseptic cream just in case.

They didn’t have a chance to knock on the door; I was out waiting for them before they were off their bikes. This was what I’d longed for, and I couldn’t express how happy I was at getting to spend this time all together.

“Don’t be gone all day, Grace.” Mum’s warning dampened my excitement, but considering how protective she used to be, being let out for the day was still an improvement. I decided to agree and apologise later if needed.

“Fine.”

“Got everything?” Oliver called as I did up my helmet.

“Come on, Grace.” Maddison was impatient and riding up and down the drive as I turned my bike around and climbed on. He tore off in the direction of his house, and I followed, excited to keep up with him, or at least try.

The wind blew through my hair, fluttering the wisps I hadn’t caught in my long plait, and I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. This was what I wanted. I looked back for a second to see Oliver just to my side.

Suffice to say my bike-ability had improved since those first wobbly endeavours. We made it down the small track and the uneven surface to the gate where we found Bob and the oak tree we spent so much time at. We all stopped, abandoning our bikes and climbed over the gate towards the shade of the tree. Our feet crunched through the leaves that had started to drop, and Maddison began to climb the tree. I listened for more kittens, cursing the noise he was making.

“You can’t have another one,” Maddison declared from the branch above us.

“I know. But maybe if there’s more, we can call the local shelter or something.” The thought of leaving kittens to fend for themselves didn’t sit well, but we’d never seen any more cats since Bob.

“There are no new kittens,” Oliver declared as he tossed the stick he’d found into the undergrowth. It’d grown so thick that you could barely see the old caravan there anymore like the land had claimed it for its own.

“Come on, then.” Maddison jumped from the tree. “I thought we were exploring today?” he asked, heading for the gate and our bikes.

He was right. We came here often—but we were older now, and there was plenty more to do today. I wanted the boys to remember how much fun we could have together, and if that meant going farther, I was in.

“You don’t have to race, Grace,” Oliver said as I pushed off, heading for the cloud of dust that Maddison had left.

“I know. Thank you.” I looked at him, and we smiled. It was the first day in a while where I remembered all of us being truly happy.

Keeping up with Maddison was a lot harder than I thought, but I managed it until I thought I was going to pass out from the heat. The sun was beating down as if it was the middle of summer.

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