Page 19 of The Two Halves of My Heart

I felt Maddison watching me until I turned the corner and crossed to my art class. Sometimes it felt like we were in our own private battle. It was just never clear who was fighting whom, or for what.

“Hey, Grace.”

“Oliver!” I jumped as I left art class. “What are you doing?”

“I thought I’d walk with you to lunch.”

“Thank you.”

We walked to the next building where we ate our sandwiches in the cafeteria.

“Do you want to come around tonight? Watch a film or something?” I asked, not wanting to bring up the idea of a party.

“Sure. You’re not going to the party?”

“No.” The one thing that Oliver never did was push. He let me talk if I wanted, but he also didn’t ask more questions than I was comfortable with. “Will you tell Maddison?” The minute I’d asked him, I felt like I’d suggested something that should be kept a secret.

“That I’m seeing you? No. It will only make him mad.”

“Why can’t we all just be friends?” My question came out as more of a plea, but whatever.

“We are. That won’t ever change.”

“I used to believe that,” I confessed, not so sure anymore. My faith in our friendship had only lasted a matter of weeks.

“Don’t worry. We aren’t going anywhere.” Oliver sounded so certain, but all I felt was us slipping apart.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m older, so naturally, I’m smarter than you. I’ll see you later.” He got up and headed out of the cafeteria, but not before leaving his strawberries on my lunchbox for me.

“Are you sure? Mum will pick us up. It will be fun.” Maddison tried one last time on the bus home from school, but I was sure. Parties weren’t for me.

“Maybe next time.” I glanced past him to where Oliver was concentrating on his phone, although I suspected he was listening.

Maddison turned away, and I ignored the little blip my heart gave at how disappointed he looked. I told myself over and over that it wouldn’t be fun, and he’d forget all about me as soon as he was with all his school friends, but there was a niggle in the back of my mind that imagined him looking out for me and wanting me to be by his side the entire time.

On unsteady feet, I got up and moved to the front of the bus just before it stopped so I was off first, and I didn’t wait for either of them. I shouldn’t be upset about anything, after all, it was my decision not to go to the party, but I couldn’t help feeling like all my choices were either Oliver or Maddison.

I stormed into the house and raced to my bedroom, disturbing Bob as I dived on to my bed. He wasn’t put out and pushed up around my hair that fanned out over the pillow. His small meows and persistent attention forced me to roll over, allowing him to make a warm nest next to me. “School isn’t all that I thought it might be, Bob.”

His saucer-eyes just stared up at me, before he burrowed in closer as if he was seeking warmth.

A few hours later, the knock at the door even failed to bring a smile to my face.

“Grace!” Mum called from downstairs, and I moved Bob from his warm spot and went down to see Oliver.

“Mum, can we watch a film?”

“Sure, honey.” I led the way into the front room and passed Oliver the remote.

“You pick.”

“Seriously? You hate my picks.” Oliver pressed half a dozen buttons and started scanning down a list of options on Netflix.

“Well, you don’t love mine either. It’s your turn.”

He picked a superhero film that didn’t totally suck, and let me, and my bad mood, be. I could feel each time he glanced at me to check I was enjoying it. It was like the side of my body began to tingle, nervous under his gaze.

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