Page 41 of Spanish Marriage Solution

Besides, he might distance her and she’d already had that once before, and she’d hated it. She couldn’t go back to it, especially now, after having these past two weeks with him. It would be like going from having everything to having nothing at all.

Still, she was tired of holding onto her secret. Tired of pretending she didn’t feel it.

A footstep came from beside her and Sebastián was there, putting down a flute of champagne. He’d gone to open a bottle so they could toast their last night here.

She glanced at him and, as it always did, her breath caught. He was as gorgeous as ever in a loose white shirt and black trousers. His black hair looked as if there were threads of amber in it from the light of the setting sun, his eyes molten gold.

Her heart clenched and reflexively she looked away in case her heart was in her eyes.

‘So,’ Sebastián said. ‘To our last night?’

Alice took a silent breath then reached for her flute and forced herself to meet his gaze. ‘Our last night,’ she echoed, her voice huskier than she wanted it to be, and raised her glass.

He toasted her, the glasses making a soft chiming sound as they knocked together.

She took a larger gulp of champagne than was probably wise, trying to moisten her dry throat and control the intensity of her emotions that suddenly felt choking. She wanted to leave right now, get this over and done with so she could get on with trying to figure out how to be in a marriage where she was desperately in love with her husband, while he wanted no part of that love.

‘Something’s wrong,’ Sebastián said after a moment, watching her. ‘What is it?’

Alice took another gulp of champagne, trying to resist the urge to drain her glass completely. ‘Nothing.’ She tore her gaze from his and stared out at the sunset. ‘Sad to go home, I suppose.’

Sebastián was silent a moment. Then she felt his finger beneath her chin as he turned her face relentlessly towards him. The deep gold of his eyes held hers. ‘It’s more than sadness, Alice. What is it? Are you having doubts?’

His gaze was difficult to hold and she was desperate to pull away. But he’d know something was definitely wrong if she did, so she stayed where she was. ‘I suppose so. Is it going to be like this when we get back home? I mean, are we going to be together like we are here back in Spain? Or are you going to put me at a distance again?’

His black brows drew down. ‘No, of course I’m not going to distance you. We both decided that wasn’t a good idea. The whole point of this honeymoon was to decide what kind of relationship we did want.’

‘So what did we eventually decide?’ She was sounding demanding and she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to let her doubt ruin their last evening, and yet she couldn’t help it. ‘I don’t think we actually discussed it.’

‘It’s going to look like this,’ Sebastian said. ‘Like what we have here.’

‘And what is that?’ She was getting shrill now, and she hated that too.

Remind you of something?

No, it wasn’t the same as her marriage to Edward. With Sebastián it would be different. He talked to her at least and he definitely wanted her. He cared for her too, that was clear. He said he would do anything to make her happy...

Anything except love you.

She could cope with that. She would have to. He’d promised her everything else so why make a drama out of it? She wasn’t her sister to weep and pout if she didn’t get what she wanted.

But you want more and it matters.

She hadn’t thought it would, but now... Her heart twisted. Would her marriage turn into the kind of marriage she’d had with Edward? Where there was doubt and lack of communication, and one-sided uninterest?

‘Isn’t it obvious?’ A thread of tension had entered Sebastián’s voice. ‘We have passion, mutual respect, interest in each other, and caring. You’re important to me, Alice, you know this. I told you this. I want to make you happy. It won’t be the same as before.’

She should say it was okay, that that was enough. She wanted to smile and kiss him, and make their last night a night to remember. To not ruin it by making a big song and dance about their relationship, or by pushing him into something he didn’t want to give. Yet she had promised him honesty.

‘I know,’ she said, her voice husky. ‘We do have all those things.’

His gaze turned sharp, scanning her face. ‘But that’s not enough, is it?’

She swallowed, her throat aching. He was too close, his scent around her, the warmth of his body a fire she wanted to warm herself against. He had become so familiar to her, so necessary...

Don’t be a coward. Tell him no, it’s not enough, that you want more. Tell him that what you want is his heart.

That terrified her. Every time she’d asked, she’d been refused or rejected, or simply ignored. Her parents had always prioritised Emily, and Edward had simply refused to engage. Why should Sebastián be any different?

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