Page 60 of A Sky Full Of Stars

“Are you okay?” he asks, his eyes still roaming the room. “I thought you’d be long gone. Can I drive you home?”

I huff out a laugh as I shake my head. I’m the least of his worries. “I’m fine. It’s these guys I’m concerned about, and I’ve got my car.”

Nate’s gaze follows the direction of mine, and he winces at Luke trying to breakdance in the middle of the room, while so many of the other guys look ready to pass out. When he sees Thomas, he freezes, and a flash of something new crosses his features.He knows.

“You should go home,” he says, only briefly glancing back my way. “I’ll take over from here.”

I’m torn between looking after myself and my sanity, or staying to look after Thomas. But when Nate takes off, walking in Thomas’s direction, I know he’s in safe hands.

And if I stay…who knows what damage that will do.

After taking my time collecting my things from Luke’s room, I slowly walk past the crowd of people still partying, hoping to get a glimpse of Thomas before I leave. Only he’s not there.

A sharp pang hits me but I keep moving. I know he’s not my problem, yet it’s really hard to walk away, and as I head toward the door, my legs drag as though they’re weighed down by lead, delaying my departure.

I want to stay, but the second I’m through the threshold, all that changes when an earth-shattering sound echoes through the air. My head snaps in the direction of the sound, but with the lack of stars, the sky’s painted in darkness, the only light coming from the street lamp across the road.

My eyes finally adjust, and my stomach knots as a silhouette comes into view. I take off in a run, my heart pounding rapidly in my chest. I’d know that person anywhere, and he’s worse off than I thought he was.

As I near him, Thomas raises a pole into the air and crashes it against his truck, the earsplitting sound vibrating through my head.

“Thomas,” I scream out, but he doesn’t hear me as he delivers the next blow.

Not thinking about the consequences, I rush to his side, trying to get him to stop as he lifts what I can now see is a metal rod and aims it at his windshield.

“Thomas,” I cry out again, but it’s no use, and I drop to the ground just in time for the shards of glass to shoot out in all directions.

“Why her?” he wails, his voice drenched in emotion. “Why the fuck wasn’t it me?” He hits the door next, over and over, his anger seemingly blocking all other senses. “Why?” he calls out into the night sky. “Why?” His voice wavers on the second “why” and his movements jolt as his emotions take over.

When he lifts the rod again, I try one last time to get his attention, rising to my knees and begging him to stop. “Thomas,please.”

His gaze flashes to mine before his eyes widen and he releases the pole, sending it crashing to the ground at his feet, narrowly missing his toes. He releases another heartbreaking wail before his body follows, and he collapses in a heap, his hands coming up to shield his face.

In the silence of the night, it’s impossible to miss his cries, and it evokes something in me that I haven’t felt for a long time. No matter what we’ve been through, even if he tells me to leave or pushes me away, I’m going to be there for him. He’s breaking,and if it’s not me, I’m not sure who else will be there to pick up the pieces.

Jumping up, I race to his side and curl my arms around him, pulling him into my hold. “I’m here, Thomas. I’m here.” He tries to fight against me but I stay strong, knowing with every fiber of my being that he needs this. He needs someone to tell him it’s not his fault. None of this is.

“I could have stopped it.” He sobs as he shakes, his words barely audible. “I did nothing to stop it.”

“You didn’t know. You can’t blame yourself. You didn’tknow.”

His head snaps back and he stares at me for a second before finally giving in and wrapping his arms around me, sinking his face into my chest. “How could I not have known? What kind of a brother… human…” he trails off with his fists clenching the fabric of my top, pulling it so tight it’s uncomfortable. I’d probably care if I thought anything I was feeling mattered right now. But it doesn’t. This is Thomas’s moment, and this time, I’m going to give it to him.

He cries with his body vibrating against me, until I’m sure he has nothing left, and only after he’s been silent for a minute does he sit back and look my way.

“Fuck, Lainey. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anyone or anything. But right now, I don’t care.” He grabs my face in his hands, his fingers curling into the back of my hair as he tilts my head toward him. When our eyes lock, his deep look of disgust penetrates my chest, but I don’t pull away. It’s not me he hates. He hates himself for what he’s about to do, but he’s too far gone to stop it. As am I. My heart pounds in my chest as I wait, my moral code no longer working.

“Thomas?”

“You’re too good for me, Lainey. You’re too good foranyone. But fuck, I need something good right now.”

“I—”

Thomas crashes his lips to mine, cutting off what would have been my half-assed attempt at a protest, as I melt into him. When I gasp at the pressure of his touch, he takes advantage of my open mouth, groaning as he slips his tongue in, tilting my head farther to deepen the kiss.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, buried deep within the memories of always doing the right thing, I know I have to pull away. But Thomas’s bruising kiss works to rid me of any goodness I have left, and as one of his hands tugs on my hair, the other softly drifting over my skin, leaving a shiver in his wake, I’m beyond caring.

I want it all. Until…

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