Page 59 of A Sky Full Of Stars

Although I don’t need him to explicitly say it, it’s written all over his face; it’s coming out in his tone, in his words, in his anguish. He’s showing me with every clench of his fist. He’s telling me with every waver in his voice. He’s completely shattered.

And he’s shattering me too.

I’ve heard the rumors, but the truth is so much worse. My heart breaks for Summer. For all that she went through. And it breaks for him too. How could their parents do this? To either of them.

Thomas continues to drink the entire time he’s speaking, and when he’s done, he’s a mess. When he falls silent, I stay still,unsure what to do, knowing that nothing I say could ever make up for what he’s been through.

Without a word, I reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls away, and my stomach drops.

“I had no one to talk to,” he says in a barely audible whisper. “No one to help.”

My heart clenches and I grip my leg to stop myself from reaching for his, my emotions threatening to drown me. When he turns my way, his eyes are full of so much hurt, I almost crumble, knowing what’s coming.

“You left,” he whispers, slightly louder this time, his voice choked with emotion. “I needed you and youleft.”

His first tears fall as I answer. “Thomas, I…I had no choice.”

“Bullshit.” He stands, rubbing his eyes again, barely keeping himself upright as the almost empty bottle hangs loosely from his fingers. “Everybodyhas free choice.”

He turns to walk away, but a panic runs through me, and I blurt out the one thing I never thought I’d tell him. “Ididn’t,” I yell. “Not if I wanted to protect you.”

He stills and his shoulders drop before he turns around. His broken expression makes my breath hitch, and it feels like a vise is gripping my lungs, shutting off the air supply. He opens his mouth to say something, but I see the moment he changes his mind, his expression hardening as his walls come back up.

“You could have said goodbye.” He looks to the sky before turning his angry gaze back to me. “You could have faced me when you told me to go. I would have gladly suffered any consequences. I didn’t just lose my sister that day; I lost my best friend. I lostyou. And it fucking hurt. More than I realized it would, and… I can’t do this now.”

He scowls before storming away, leaving me speechless, and the moment he’s out of sight, I break.

I don’t know how I expected our reunion to be, if we ever had one, but that was not it, and while he seems content to push me away, I’m suddenlyfeelingfor the first time in months. And I don’t particularly like it.

Ishould have gone home. When Thomas walked away, I should have taken that as my cue to get out of here. I know he’s in pain. I know he’s hurting and I know he’s drunk, but I don’t deserve his anger.Heleft mefirst. And I needed to do what I could to protect him.

I made my choice and there’s nothing I can do to change it.

I’ve been torturing myself for the better part of an hour, watching Thomas as he drinks himself into oblivion, when Luke wanders over.

“Junior Burger! You’re still here,” he says, stating the obvious, his words slurring.

“Do you think you should stop him?” I ask, ignoring everything else and gesturing to Thomas as he wraps his arm around a small blonde, leaning down to whisper in her ear. Flirting once again.

Luke laughs, and I realize asking him was a lost cause. He’s almost as drunk as Thomas is. “Let him have his fun.” He bops my head before leaning back on the bar and smiling. “He’s a pro football player now. He doesn’t get as much time to let loose.”

Luke talks like I have no idea who Thomas is, and I suppose in his mind, that’s true. I’m sure that according to Luke, Thomas and I only know each other because we’re connected tohim. He probably thinks he’s our main topic of conversation. In fact, I’ll bet he thinks that way about everyone. If I had to associatea song with Luke, it would one hundred percent be “You’re So Vain,” by Carly Simon.

“Plus,” Luke adds with a grin, “look how happy he is.”

We both glance Thomas’s way, and sure enough he’s smiling like this is the best night of his life, but if you look through that, if you watch close enough, you can still see the anguish in his expression.

“Are you sure there’s not…more to it?” I ask, curious to see if his friends have his back.

Luke sighs, shaking his head like I’m an overprotective mother. “So you’ve heard the gossip from last night? Yes, he had a fight with Dylan. But it’s Thomas. He’s not one to let things like that get to him.”

My jaw drops while Luke’s smile widens.What the hell kind of answer is that?God, why is he so oblivious?

I stand from my stool, ready to give him a sisterly lecture, but as I really focus on his expression, something about it feels off, and I’m about to ask him to explain it when a new song comes on and he cheers in my face before rushing off. “Yes. Now it’s time to par-tay,” he yells, throwing himself into the mix. I want to smile with him. I want to find happiness in his happiness, but I can’t shake the weird vibe he just gave me.

And not much makes me truly smile these days.

I continue to watch the scene play out in front of me, sitting alone at the bar, unable to walk away, while the world around me parties. But when Luke’s teammate Nate comes home around midnight, and his eyes widen as he takes in the room, I relax. We haven’t had many conversations, but I can tell by his expression that he’s the caregiver of the group. Made even more apparent when he walks over to check on me.

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