Page 58 of A Sky Full Of Stars

Lies, lies. All of it, fucking bullshit. Every word out of their mouths. And the stuff with Dylan… They weren’t content enough to ruin Summer’s life, they had to destroy his too.

I gulp down more whiskey and let the burn slide through my throat as the Ball House tree swing comes into view in the distance. When I lived here, I must have sat there a million times, surrounded by nature, staring into space, alone. It was always my solace, and I need that solace now.

The trees thicken around me, taking away what little light I have, forcing me to continue on almost blindly. It’s not until I’m within a few feet of the swing that I see the outline of a figure and sigh. The seat’s occupied. Of course it’s fucking occupied, and it almost makes my stupid tears fall. I can’t cry over thisagain. I deserve nothing but pain. And crying might get me sympathy.

I turn on a dime and head back in the opposite direction, the movement making me dizzy. But the second I hit the light, my world stops.

“Thomas?”

I freeze.That voice. It’s been years but I will never forget that voice. Lainey.My Lainey.

She’s here. In my space. My solace.

None of the past matters as I jog toward her, engulfing her in my arms when she stands from the swing. “Fuck, Lainey. I need you and you’re here. It could have been anyone on the swing. But it’s you. You’re here.”

Her breath hitches but she doesn’t shove me away. Instead, she pulls me closer, tucking herself into my chest, her hands splayed across my back. Then she just stays there.Unmoving. Waiting for me to be okay.

Only problem is, I’m not sure I’ll ever be okay.

How can I be?

Chapter Twenty-One

Lainey

Thomas stays curled around me for what feels like a lifetime, while I hold him close, trying to process the fact that he’s here. And I don’t mean here in Heartwood because I saw him last night. I mean here…in my arms.

When he finally pulls away, I take my time to study him, making notes of any changes since I saw him three years ago. His wispy brown hair sits a little longer on the top, giving him a more rugged look as the strands flop across his forehead. I can’t tell if it’s a look he’s going for, or if he’s been running his hands through the thickness. Either way, it’s working for him. On top of that change, it’s also impossible to miss his size. He’s bulked up since the early days of college. Not that I had to step back and study his body to know that. I felt it when I was hugging him, when his tight muscles flexed at my touch.

A shiver runs through me as he stares, drinking me in just as I’m doing with him. But when a familiar spark ignites inside me, I shake it all off. It was hell not being able to contact him when I left Heartwood and for the years after. Even when I turned eighteen, I still didn’t want to mention anything to Luke. All he ever spoke about was football and his team. I wasn’t about to ruin one of his close relationships. Then, as time went on, my feelings changed. All feelings, not just those toward Thomas, and now I’m not sure what it means to have him standing in front of me.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas says suddenly, scratching his head as he breaks the silence and takes a step away from me. “How are you?”

“How am I? Seriously.” I almost laugh. “I think it’s me that should be asking that question.”

Seeing him last night and having him completely ignore me hurt. But now it’s like he doesn’t even remember it.

Thomas smiles but it’s clearly forced, and when his uncertain gaze flits over his shoulder, my gut tells me something’s wrong.Something happened.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, sitting back on the swing before folding my arms across my chest—a little to protect myself and a little to stop myself from reaching out to touch him again.

Thomas sits beside me, running his free hand down his face, while the other clings to a bottle of whiskey like it’s a lifeline, his fingers clenched so tightly around the neck you’d think he was expecting someone to steal it away. He releases a slow breath before taking a sip of his drink and shaking his head. “I keep making mistake after mistake,” he whispers when he’s done, seemingly talking to himself. “I’ve fucked up so many times, I’ve lost count.”

I sit silently not wanting to interrupt him, sensing he has more to say, and he does.

“I hurt Summer,” he rushes out after the longest pause, his voice wavering. “I hurt my sister, my own flesh and blood, and I’ll never be able to make up for it.”

He sucks in a breath as a sharp pain radiates through me, the sting so intense I almost clutch my chest to feel for a wound. My mind drifts back to the last time I heard his voice and I involuntarily shiver.“Summer’s gone.”What did he do?

A million possibilities run through my mind before Thomas speaks again, and while it was probably only seconds, I know that if I’d held my breath, I would have been struggling for air.

Thomas clears his throat before taking another swig from the bottle.

“She was hurting. Dad hurt her. He physically hurt her while I believed his lies and everything he did to cover it up.I let her go.” His voice cracks, as his eyes well with tears, making it impossible for me not to get choked up. I let a few tears fall while Thomas aggressively wipes at his face, hiding the evidence before taking another drink.

“All this time, I thought Mom was hurting like I was, but she knew. Shefuckingknew. And she let it happen. She let Summer leave.”

He stares straight ahead as he tells me what happened, filling me in on his talk with Summer, his confrontation with Dylan, and the altercation with his parents. He mentions things from the past, things he’s never told anyone. But what he fails to mention is how hefeels.

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