Page 151 of A Sky Full Of Stars

Along with his words, I can hear the pleading in his voice, but when I turn back to face him, it’s so much worse, his gaze begging me to stop.To listen.

“Okay. I’ll wait.”

Thomas breathes out a relieved sigh and walks me back to the car, leaning against it, like he has in the past. “I meant what I said earlier. I want a second…third chance, and while I don’t expect you to give it to me right away, I want to know what I can do to earn your trust again, to show you this time will be different.”

I think about that for a moment as a vision of Thomas stumbling onto the back porch has my brows furrowing. “Will it be different?” I ask even though it pains me to hurt him. “You said you were addicted to me, but you were addicted to alcohol too, and you’restilldrinking.”

His anguished expression works like a knife to my back, but I hold strong. I have to; finding and losing Thomas for a third time has the potential to end me.

“I’m still drinking,” he admits, and I almost sigh in relief since I expected him to lie. “But it’s not a problem. Not anymore. I usually only drink during the offseason and it’s a social thing. I can control it.”

“But how is that different from before? You said you could control it back then too.”

“I could, and nothing has changed on that front, except that I know I messed up. I’m aware of it. I never should have let you go, because doing it without you didn’t make it any easier. In fact, there were moments when it was worse. Being away from you was torture… I had everything I could ever want, and yet, I was lonely.”

“Thomas…” My heart aches for him, but that’s how I felt the last time we were together, and I’m not convinced we should go back there. “Thomas, I—”

“Wait, please let me say more.”

I nod and he continues, reaching for my hand. “Last time was different because we both needed to be apart. You blossomed during that time away, but I can admit that I wilted. I tried hard to fix myself. For me. But I couldn’t escape the darkness.”

“I’m sorry. I should have stayed—"

“No, you shouldn’t have. Because while I knew the second you walked away that I needed you—that you were the missing half of my heart—I will never regret the decisions I made back then. Not a single one. If you could have seen yourself on that stage… You were playing a part, I know, but there was this peace in your expression, and when the music stopped, the most beautiful smile graced your face. When we were together, I never once managed to elicit that happiness. But maybe, just maybe, I helped contribute to it by setting you free.”

Thomas pauses, and my heart races as he runs a hand through his hair. “I know it’s not right to be asking you this,” he says hesitantly. “But I want you to put our past aside for just a moment, a heartbeat, and think about how you feel.” Lifting my hand, he holds it over my heart and covers it with his own. “In here. Are you ready to walk away, or is there still an ounce of hope, a spark, a single star in the billions that light up the sky? If there is any part of you that doesn’t want to say goodbye, I’ll take it and I’ll wait.”

My stomach twists in knots as my mind reels, my hand subconsciously moving to my hip. To the tattoo I got on my travels, five years after I planned it. Doing as he asked, I try hard not to think about the past, to focus on the way I feel, to look at our current circumstances instead of what was… But itseems the world is out to mess with us, because no sooner do I push the memories from my mind, that the heavens open up and the sky cracks around us, the rain falling before I’ve had the chance to look up.

No, not falling—it’spouring, instantly coating us, giving us no time to run for shelter.

“Jesus,” Thomas says as he laughs, shielding his eyes as he glances toward the darkness. “Talk about a sign. Come on.” He clasps our hands and leads me around the side of the house, ducking in and out of the rain, giving me moments of respite in between the cold coating my skin.

“Do you think it’s a good sign or bad sign?” I whisper as we walk, conscious of our proximity to the windows.

Thomas stops, his intense gaze hitting me square in the eyes as he spins to face me, making me stumble. I let out a muted squeal and step back, landing in a puddle, my loose ballet flat sticking to the ground. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groan as I hop, grabbing the brick wall for support.

“Shit.” Thomas springs forward, cupping my waist to steady me as he reaches down to pick up my dirty shoe. We both stare at the mess, and when my eyes flash to my foot, Thomas chuckles.

“Come here,” he says, dropping my shoe beside the path as he grabs me under the ass and lifts me until I’m forced to wrap my legs around him. “Let’s worry about that in the morning. For now, let’s get inside.”

I’m about to argue when more lightning cracks and the thunder rolls seconds later, scrambling my thoughts. Thomas huffs out a laugh, his grip holding me firmly in place as he stares up at me, my heart beating out of control. I don’t think I can walk away, but more than that, I don’t think I want to. I’m not sure how long we stare at each other, but it looks like he’sabout to say something before he shakes his head and laughs again, whispering, “Guess there’ll be no dancing in the rain today.”

I stifle my own laugh as he takes off in a jog, holding me close, and I give in, burying my face in his neck, breathing him in. The faster we go, the harder the rain pelts into us, until we’re both completely soaked through. Thomas chuckles again when I curse under my breath, his laughter only subsiding when we reach the shelter of the pool house.

“You can put me down now,” I whisper, wriggling in his grip when he comes to a stop. “I need to find my keys.”

Thomas does as I ask, until I shiver, then he stops, leaning back to look in my eyes, his gaze full of concern. My nose scrunches as I try to hide it, but my quivering lips give the game away.

“Shit, you’re freezing.” He lifts me back into his arms and pats my pockets, searching for the keys.

“Are they in your bag?” he asks and I immediately cringe.

“Yes.”And I left my bag in the car.

Thomas nods knowingly, his expression curious until he smiles. “Main house it is.”

What? “No, we can—”

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