Page 107 of A Sky Full Of Stars

She lifts up a bag of cheese and waves it in my face.

“Correct, no cheese for me. Some things never change.”

“Good to know.”

While we’re technically talking about my eating habits, on some level it feels like we’re both saying so much more, and I really hope I’m right. It won’t happen overnight, and it may not happen this month or this year, but I want to get back to the Thomas and Summer we used to be. I want us to feel like a family. If that’s even possible.

The conversation stays casual while we eat, but as soon as the dishes are in the sink, the mood changes as we move to the couch.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to call you,” Summer says as she sits opposite me, her eyes on her hands.

“It’s only been a few months,” I rush to ease her mind. “And—”

“Even so,” she cuts me off. “I promise, I wasn’t playing hard to get.” She smiles but she’s clearly uncomfortable. “God, I’ve wanted to get in touch with you so many times, but every time I tried, I’d freeze up.” With a pause, she lifts her hands to her mouth before resting them under her chin and taking a deep breath. When her eyes meet mine this time, they’re full of pain, and I have to fight myself not to cut in, desperate to tell her it’s all okay and that we don’t need to talk about it. Because we should. It’s the only way we can get to a better place.

“I spent years trying to move on,” Summer continues, making me tense. “I forced myself to be strong. To get by on my own. And I truly believed I didn’t need anyone else. Especially you. But now, it terrifies me that maybe I do. Or thatI willonce we start seeing each other again. I know you’re hurting too, but I wasn’t ready for that change. Or to risk being hurt again. Not that I think you’ll necessarily hurt me, but—”

“I get it, Summer. I never faulted you for taking the time you needed.”It just broke my heart. Like this conversation.And that broken heart is currently sitting in Summer’s hands as shetalks, willing to take any pain she wants to inflict. “You have every right to set the pace.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Please don’t be. I want to make one thingveryclear. You didnothingwrong. You’vedonenothing wrong. And no matter what you do from here on out, you will always be strong. Stronger than me, that’s for sure. You’ve been dealing with this for years, Summer.Years. I’ve known for a few months, and I’m not even the one that was hurt…yet I’m still spiraling.”

“Oh, Thomas.”

“No. Please don’t feel sorry for me. I didn’t tell you that to make you feel anything for me. I told you so you’d be proud of yourself. Because I am so damn proud of you. I just wish…” I trail off when my voice breaks from emotion before clearing my throat. “I’m so fucking sorry. So sorry. Not only for my part in what you went through, but for never seeing what was right under my nose. I knew Dad treated you differently. I fuckingknew. I saw it. But I never…”Jesus. My throat clogs again as tears well in my eyes. Biting down on the flesh of my cheek, I stave them off so I can continue. “I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you, but I’m going to try. Summer, I’ll do anything.”

The first tear falls and it’s Summer’s, breaking my heart more than I thought possible. I’m not sure it will ever fully heal.

“If you don’t mind talking about it, I want to know everything,” I ask, because I’m terrified she’s holding on to something that I didn’t even know I did.

Summer nods and there’s a steadiness to her expression. “Where do I even begin?”

“And then the calls began and it all started unravelling,” she says with a frown. “There’s no way I could have kept it from Dylan forever. After all, it blew up as soon as he saw the evidence, but maybe I would have handled it better if I wasn’t already waiting for it to all fall apart. I should have trusted him. If I’d told him about it, then maybe things would have been different.”

My head pounds as my breathing shallows, but outwardly, I don’t react. For the last thirty minutes, Summer’s detailed all the awful things she went through. Some I knew, some I completely missed…stuck in my own head. I was a stupid, entitled kid thinking my world and my problems were all that mattered, and I missed it. I missed her pain. I missed the signs. I never made obvious connections.

I let Dad hurt her, and while I will never forgive myself for that, it’s the fact that she wishes it had never come out that has my stomach in knots.

Because if it had never come out—if we’d never found out the truth—then I would still be the asshole treating her badly, cursing her for making the media chase me. Hating her for running.

And we wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t be trying to reconnect.

Is that what she wants?

“You’d prefer I never found out?” I ask, hesitantly.

“Yes,” she whispers, stunning me to silence. “Because I never wanted you to hurt, Thomas. And I never wanted you to lose your parents.”

What?She’s still worried aboutme.

“Summer, I didn’t lose my parents.Theylostme. I’d prefer to live without them then unknowingly be supporting anyone who can act the way they did. I’m sorry it all ‘blewup,’ but only foryoursake. I’m glad I found out the truth, and I’m happy I get the opportunity to connect with you. But if that’s not what you want, I don’t want to force it.”

“I want that too. I do.”

I release a loud sigh, not even bothering to hide it. “Thank you. That’s all that matters. As far as I’m concerned, we’re orphans. It’s you and me, Sum. Although, I do want to visit Mom. To find out her side of the story.”

“No—”

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