Page 108 of A Sky Full Of Stars

“Sorry, not because I want to forgive her, but because I think she still has some secrets, and we may as well get it all out in the open now when we’re already hurting.”

“You’re allowed to forgive her, Thomas. Just because I don’t want to…”

“I know, Summer. This isn’t all about you…” Her eyes flash to mine, but when I smirk she bursts out laughing.

“Sorry now, Big Bro, I wouldn’t want to take the spotlight from you,” she jokes, and while it feels nice, I can’t get the guilt out of my head. Still, I try.

“Can we talk about something else? Maybe catch up on the last few years. How’s Seattle? How’s life as a starting quarterback?”

“Technically, I’m not a starting quarterback. I only started twice.”

“Hey, now. What happened to the cocky Thomas I used to know and love? Youarea starting quarterback.”

“Damn straight.” I sit tall and laugh. “But in all seriousness, Seattle is okay. I’m still adjusting to a new city, a new life. I’d rather hear about you. What are you studying? Since you’re attending Heartwood U, I’m going to guess you never got into equine studies.”

Summer laughs loudly, and it lights up her entire face. “That was when I was twelve and wanted to be a horse trainer.”

“Even though you’d never ridden a horse.”

“Yes, even so. You wanted to be a pro football player before you could throw a ball.”

“Very true.” Although, I’m not sure it was me that started that dream. Dad pushed me in that direction before I could walk.

“So, what are you really studying?”

Dylan chooses that moment to “sneak” back in the front door, thinking he’s being stealthy, so I make it known he’s been busted. “And more importantly, what in God’s name made you decide Dylan was the one?” I joke, and when Summer and Dylan both laugh, I start to think that maybe things will be okay between us all.

On the outside, at least.

Summer, Dylan, and I talk for another hour before I make an excuse to leave. It’s not that I wasn’t enjoying catching up, because I was, but I felt as though I’d outstayed my welcome. Like I was an outsider looking in. No matter how easy it feels between us, she moved on. She’s got a new family, and while I’m so grateful for them, it sits heavy in my chest. I should have been a part of that. Luke says he wouldn’t let anyone on the football team near his sister, but the truth is, for me, I couldn’t imagine a better group of guys. Dylan’s proven that, and Nate’s been there for me recently, despite thinking I haven’t noticed. Even Luke, the complete ladies’ man that he is, would probably be a decent boyfriend if he ever decided he wanted that. I’veseen his caring side when it comes to his sister and, to a degree, me.

Having said all that, I can understand why Luke wouldn’t want me with Lainey. I’m only starting to prove myself, and I’ve got a long way to go.

I’m anxious as I drive home, trying hard not to let myself fall into the darkness again. I had a good night with Summer, but it shouldn’t have come to that. And the sympathetic look on her face as she said goodbye made things worse. She’s still carrying so much guilt of her own, and she shouldn’t be. She shouldn’t be worrying about me at all. But how do I convince her I’m okay when I’m not certain that I am?

The bright lights of our regular liquor store come into view, and my hands tighten on the steering wheel. The plan was to go straight to the Ball House. The boys are expecting me. But with the thick tension firmly lodged in my throat, I need something to push it down. Something to melt it away.

And a bottle won’t do.

Instead of stopping, I make an illegal U-turn and head back in the opposite direction, pulling into the parking lot of a seedy bar, not wanting to be around people at the house.

I need to be alone, I need something strong, and I need them both now.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Lainey

Igrab a cloth to clean up the mess a client just made when our second in charge, Courtney, pats me on the arm. “Lainey, can you please run out back and tell Seb we need more Diamond Stix Vodka?”

By “need more,” she actually means we need tofind some. We don’t stock it. It’s an exclusive vodka that our clientele generally don’t ask for, but tonight, that’s not the case.

“Seb won’t be long,” Courtney tells the young woman in front of her. “But I’ll send over a bottle of our next finest vodka while you wait.”

The woman looks flustered, but she nods as she rushes away.

A large obnoxious group—actually not a group, a famous musician and his entourage—arrived about an hour ago, and it’s been chaos ever since. I haven’t been able to think, let alone get time to look at my phone. And I’m dying to check it.

“Seb, we need Diamond St—”

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