Page 51 of Set Fire to This Cardhouse

Toby allows for a brief smile. “This isn’t a bedtime story, Mattie.”

“Okay.” For what seems like an eternity, Matt just looks at him. Then he shrugs in a passable imitation of nonchalance—although the faint twitch of his leg suggests he isn’t quite as relaxed as he claims. “So you’re a... spy?”

“Something like that.” Toby remains perfectly still.

“Okay,” Matt repeats, studying Toby’s face.

“Okay?” Toby echoes.

“Well, yeah.” Matt flashes him a quick smile. “What, you expected me to be shocked? Honestly, I’d been kind of counting on your drug money for my pension.”

“You really thought I was a criminal.” It’s a mix between amusement and disbelief that colors Toby’s question. “And you were just... fine with that?”

“It made sense. And you’re my brother. If it wasn’t for you, Haley and I wouldn’t be where we are right now, so, you know.” Matt grins around a mouthful of beer. “I’d help you hide the body. I just hope it doesn’t stink.”

“You’re something else.”

“Well.” Matt hesitates. “You know, I always wondered why Jada left you. Thought it might be because she couldn’t deal with the criminal element, moral objections and all. But I guess she just couldn’t deal with the danger.”

“Actually” —Toby clears his throat— “she never knew.”

There’s a poignant pause.

Then Matt says, “Yeah, I guess that’d make her want to walk, too. Jesus, Toby, you never told her? What did she think you were doing?”

“Business. Something that required a lot of traveling.”

“And she believed you?” Matt sounds incredulous. “On second thought, I bet she didn’t, and there’s the problem. Did you really think you could get away with that? She’s a smart woman, Toby.”

“Yeah, we’ve met. And you’re right, it’s part of why she walked.” The biggest part, maybe—she claimed she could never fully reach him, that he was never there more than halfway, forever with one foot out the door.

He’d loved her. Just maybe not enough.

Toby sighs softly, setting the beer down. He doesn’t feel like drinking anymore. Tiredness pulls at the soles of his feet.

“Why did you tell me?” Matt asks. “I mean, why now?”

A resounding crash from Haley’s room makes them both jump, Toby already on his feet when Haley calls, “I’m fine!” It’s followed by the sound of something being set upright, and they listen for a moment longer before Toby sits back down and Matt picks up right where he left off.

“Don’t get me wrong: I appreciate that you told me, will keep it a secret, all that jazz. But you didn’t even tell Jada. So what’s changed?” His mouth quirks. “And is you spilling your guts in any way related to how you honestly do look like shit?”

“You’re not that little anymore,” Toby says absently.

Matt raises his beer. “Oh my. That a compliment?”

“You’ve grown up a lot since Hal was born.” Toby catches Matt’s eyes and weighs his next words carefully. “And what’s changed is that I met a guy. “

“A guy, huh.” Matt’s only reaction is a short laugh, his tone light.

“A guy, yeah.” Toby feels his chest loosen a little. It’s not that he was particularly worried because, well, Matt knows. At least in theory. But sometimes there’s a difference between theory and practice, and Matt’s never actually seen Toby specifically interested in a guy. Softcore calendars aside, it just hasn’t been much of a topic.

Matt tilts his head. “Tell me about him.”

“He’s...” And this is where Toby falters, his throat tight. He picks the beer back up just for something to do with his hands. The condensation is cool against his palm, and in Costa Rica, he would have been grateful for anything to counteract the heat; here, he feels slightly chilly in a shirt. “My current work partner, in fact.”

“Oooooh, another spy?” Matt follows it up with a grin, and Toby appreciates the attempt to make this easier on him, he does.

“Yeah.” He searches for words that describe Mike. “He’s... smart, attractive, opinionated. Calls me on my bullshit. Kind of like Jada in that respect, but so unlike her in many other ways. For one, he needs therapy so badly, you have no idea. Also, he genuinely enjoys blowing things up.”

---