Page 60 of A Cameo for a Cowgirl

“Oh, Harrison.” The poor man.

His body froze, and it wasn’t hard to deduce how he’d interpreted her words, as if her sympathy was too much. But she couldn’t let him continue this way. Her hand found his and gripped it.

He glanced at their joined hands, and she realized what she’d done. Moved to tug her hand away, but he tightened his hold.

Her heart fluttered, but no, she knew he didn’t mean anything by it. Neither had she. Holding hands with a famous actor in this moment was simply a moment of offering comfort, of offering support, like she would with anyone else. Well, actually, with most other people she’d be hugging them by now, but that would definitely be giving this man the wrong impression. So hand holding it was.

She silently prayed for him, that God would comfort him, and somehow bring restoration in his family. Harrison might act tough, but the rasp in his voice showed he wasn’t immune, that his father’s burning of Harrison’s birth certificate was like the ultimate act of rejection. And now she knew this, she could understand why he kept aloof and didn’t let people in. The fact Harrison had admitted this to her felt like a miracle, like a gift of trust had been handed to her, something she would hold carefully, like a treasure. That they continued to sit here, holding hands, undisturbed, felt like another miracle. Not that it was one she’d ever prayed for. But with the set so busy, the fact he’d had time to share something so personal, something that obviously bothered him, felt like she’d been walking in God’s plans and purposes, here at exactly the right time God needed her. Even if she was only here to provide comfort, and nothing else.

Nothing else. She stilled, now acutely aware of how hot her hand was, that it was feeling a little sweaty, even. And her skin definitely wasn’t soft and delicate like Ainsley Beckett’s probably was. Although whether Ainsley had such amazing qualities as the ability to fix bathrooms remained to be seen…

She drew her hand away, then inched back, before subtly wiping off the sweat down her jeans. No. She wouldn’t go giving him the wrong idea.

He cleared his throat. “And anyway, that’s why I appreciated talking to your folks. Your dad was real understanding. He answered a whole bunch of my questions about all kinds of things.” He peered at her, as if wondering if she knew.

“I haven’t spoken to them about that.”

His shoulders relaxed, as if he was relieved. Which made her wonder exactly what he had been saying.

“Anyway, ever since you made that comment about not wanting to go out with someone who wasn’t a Christian I’ve been wondering why. So your dad explained some things, and I came back to my room and found the Bible—”

Her pulse escalated.

“—and I might’ve been reminded of some things my grandmother used to say. She was a God-fearing woman and took me to church when I was young. I lived with her for a time after my parents split up. Anyway, I found the verses your dad mentioned, and yeah.” He swallowed. “I might’ve prayed, and given my heart to God, and now I’m trying to do things His way again.”

Her hands covered her mouth. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. “You’re a Christian?” she clarified.

His smile held awkwardness. “Yeah.”

Her skin prickled at his confession. At the realization that her act of boldness in placing the Bible in the room had contributed to this man’s renewal of faith. At the thought that maybe, just maybe, this man might be part of the answer to that prayer she’d prayed about her future. The backs of her eyes heated, and she ducked her head.

“And I figured that seeing it was Sunday, I should be in church.” He glanced at her again. “I also figured you might know a good church for me to go to, but I didn’t want you to think I was imposing again. I bet you do already, about all kinds of things.”

Remorse grew. How awful that she’d resented this man, when God had simply had him on a path to finding Him?

“I’m so happy for you, Harrison. Really. And you know any church would be delighted to have you join with them. Some churches might find a Hollywood actor in their midst a little overwhelming, but it shouldn’t be about that. It should be about finding a church community that encourages and supports you to grow in God.”

Her words echoed in her mind. How often had she made it about herself, rather than seeing things from the bigger perspective?

“Thanks.” He swallowed. “I know I struggle with negativity sometimes, but I own my past behavior, and I want you to know I’m trying to change.”

Was that a plea? It sure sounded like a plea for understanding. For acceptance. She glanced at him. This man was a brother in Christ. But more than that, she’d never had a right to hold offense due to anything he’d done, because as a Christian, she was supposed to let all offenses be placed at the foot of the cross. But she hadn’t. Call it weariness or busyness or whatever, but she’d gotten way too good at nursing resentment and grudges and holding people’s sins against them. He wasn’t the real sinner here. She had been.

Regret squeezed her heart. Lord, I’m sorry.

He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, Cassie. For all the wrong things I’ve done.” He held out his hand. “And I hope you’ll forgive me.”

She studied his hand, but this time she couldn’t ignore it or make some careless comment. This moment held a weight, a weight that felt like it held seeds of the future. Would she forgive and let God have His way? There was only one answer.

“Of course. And,” she swallowed. “I hope you’ll forgive me too. I, um, haven’t exactly been shining the light of Jesus either.”

“Forgiven.” His grip firmed as his smile lit his eyes.

Oh. Her heart fluttered, as she was again reminded why this man had been accorded heartthrob status on the show. When he smiled with his whole face like that, a girl could very easily get carried away and start believing he meant it for real. And while he might mean it in this moment, and want to have peace with her, she didn’t dare for a second hope he wanted anything more. And even though there was now no longer the barrier of non-shared faith, she’d need to work extra hard now to tamp down any wandering thoughts that might beg to differ. As he’d made perfectly clear, her future was here. His wasn’t.

She drew her hand away. Went to wipe it on her jeans then realized he might take that the wrong way. That wasn’t kind. Even if it was more about her own preservation.

“Well, I’m glad we’ve got that cleared up.”

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