Page 66 of Dirty Play

Chapter 26

Cade

Gwen and I have been sitting out on the front porch, the walk we took earlier having worn us both out, especially after our late night last night. It feels good to get some fresh air and tell her stories about growing up in this town.

I know I need to bring up Veronica. It’s time to tell Gwen everything. I’m over keeping these secrets from her, even if the thought of reliving everything is almost enough to scare me away… almost. Gwen is worth facing my past.

Right as I’m about to start the conversation, Vince and Kylie come walking out the front door, their usual perky demeanors nowhere to be found. They both seem uncomfortably serious.

“Cade, can we talk to you?” Kylie asks awkwardly, as her gaze keeps flicking back and forth between Gwen and me.

“About what?” I ask, my guard immediately going up. Before anyone can answer, Gwen stands up.

“I’m going to call the hospital and make sure that everything with Kennedy is going well,” she says with a smile, but I know she can sense the tension.

Before she can leave, I stop her, not ready for her to walk away. I’m not prepared to face my family without her. She's the only reason I’ve been strong enough to be here, let alone talk about anything to do with the past. So not knowing what they are going to say, or even what they want to talk to me about, is scary as hell, and I know I want her to stay.

“Are you sure?” Kylie asks nervously.

“Yes, I want her to stay,” I answer.

“Okay… then I guess… will you both come inside?”

Standing up, we follow them inside, where we find my parents sitting at the dining room table. They look solemn, like something bad has happened. But we’re all accounted for, so I’m confused.

“What’s going on?” I ask nervously as we sit down. Thankfully, Gwen takes the spot right next to me. Her hand immediately grips my leg and squeezes once, a silent show of support that means more than she knows.

Intertwining our fingers, I hold her hand in mine, needing to know she’s still here. Needing to feel that she’s not going to leave.

“Son, we’ve thought about how to have this conversation constantly over the years. We’ve thought about how we could bring it up—how to present it to you in a way that wouldn’t have you running for the hills. We never figured out how to do that, and instead, anytime we’ve tried, we’d lose you for months, if not years. But now, things are different, and we think it’s time.”

“What are we even talking about?” I say, my stomach twisting and turning into knots as I wait.

My dad and mom get lost in a silent conversation until my mom nods.

“It’s time for you to let it go, son. All of it. We’ve sat back while you’ve pushed everyone away for years, never let anyone get close enough you were scared. It’s time for you to move on, live your life, and stop pushing everyone away. It’s been over ten years since we lost your sister, and this entire time, you’ve blamed yourself. We could never have predicted everything that happened—with you or your sister,” he says, and I feel Gwen’s hand tense on my own. This is her freaking out. This is her sign that she wants to run. If this conversation continues down this path, she’ll soon be pulling her hand away from mine completely.

But at this point, I’m so tired. I’m tired of running from the people who claim to love me. I’m tired of running from my past, constantly putting distance between myself and anyone who might care about me. I don’t want to do it anymore, especially now that I have Gwen. Even though she doesn’t know my whole story… doesn’t quite understand why I am the way I am. I feel like I still have one foot out of this whole thing, just in case she leaves me. But right now, she’s still here, and that makes me feel stronger—strong enough to handle this conversation.

Besides, if she’s going to run, at least she’ll do it before I’ve fallen in love with her.

My whole body freezes and I feel like I can’t catch my breath. It hits me like a freight train—the recognition that these feelings might be stronger than I realized.

Am I in love with Gwen?

“Are you even listening to us?” Vince interrupts my thoughts, annoyed by my lack of talking.

Sorry, I can’t handle two existential crises at once and realizing I’m in love with one of my best friends definitely qualifies.

Being in love with her is different than enjoying each other's company or giving an orgasm or two while enjoying each other's company.

No, love is more. It’s thinking about the future, last names, and where you want to plant your roots. Things I’ve never considered in my life, but I’m starting to think about now.

Fuck, I’m really not paying attention.

“Yes, I’m listening,” I growl, annoyed that I’m not allowed time to process their ambush.

“Look, Cade, sweetie, we don’t mean to come at you or seem like we’re attacking you. We just want to talk to you. To figure out everything we need to be a real family again,” my mom says, her eyes welling up.

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